All About Women | Women

Overcoming fear is a challenging process. It requires a lot of things --- humility to accept the fact that you have a certain fear, desire to overcome it, courage and discipline to do the tasks involved, and patience and conviction that you can achieve your goal. Although it is not easy to do, one should bear in mind as well that it is not impossible to do either.

To accomplish something, one should overcome fear. Hence, the need for a plan of action. Here are some suggested steps which one may follow to overcome fear: First, acknowledge that you have a certain fear. Do not deny it. Second, determine its nature and type. Figure out if it is real or imagined and if it is something that is serious or not. If needed, ask another person's objective view about it. Then, define it: Is it fear of rejection, of success, of failure, of not being good enough, of not having enough, of not being loved, of not being worthy, of heights, of water, or of something else? Third, identify its cause/s. Is it your low self-esteem, your upbringing or culture, an external pressure, a bad experience, etc.?

Fourth, do any or a combination of the following techniques (depending on the nature, type, and causes of your fear as well as your personality, access to some needed resources or services, financial and other conditions):

Visualization, Meditation, or Controlling your mind/imagination. Concentrate on the target results and "experience the feeling of already having/doing them".

Creating a "vision board" and placing it somewhere where you can see it always. Stick/draw on it some pictures or symbols of the things that you desire to happen if you don't have fear anymore.

Writing a journal. Divide each entry/page into two. On the left column, jot down your fear & everything related to it (e.g. symptoms, effects, etc.). On the right side, write down the opposite of that fear & all the things you experience with it (e.g., the feeling you have, the impact it has on your routine, etc.). Then, "mentally delete" the entry on the left side and concentrate on the things you wrote on the right column. Celebrate the joy, peace, etc. of experiencing them.

Doing a physical activity. Exercise at the gym, walk for 30 minutes or so, do some gardening or any household chore, play tennis, etc.

Taking deep breaths, relaxing in a comfortable place, temporarily getting out of the situation ("taking a time-out from the situation that creates or brings out the fear), & doing something else which is constructive (e.g. cooking, buying groceries, playing chess, solving crossword puzzles, etc.).

Reading self-help articles/books, watching inspiring shows/movies, attending seminars, visiting web sites which are addressing your needs, or talking about your fear with someone/people you trust and who could help you.
Asking for a professional help from a life coach, therapist, etc.

Designing an action plan and following it seriously until the desired result is achieved.

Following the mentioned steps and applying any one of the cited techniques should be leading towards overcoming one's fear. For better results, however, it would be wise if he or she would choose a technique which he or she enjoys doing, make sure that it is practical --- something that he or she is capable of doing at a reasonable time --- given his or her existing condition, apply any technique or a combination of techniques as needed, and consult an authority, when in doubt regarding the technique to be used or the step to do and when fear becomes "life-threatening" or hazardous.

From the Tehran Times:

The blackclad “ladyguards” provide a niche service to women who have broken through the Arab world's glass ceiling and achieved fame and fortune, but who feel they cannot resort to male protection out of deference to the region's conservative mores.

The leader of neighbouring Libya, Moamer Gathafi, is famous for his female bodyguards, dubbed Amazons.

But clients of the “ladyguards” include Egyptian actresses and pop divas, as well as princesses and wealthy businesswomen from the oil-rich Gulf.

“We were the first to create a service of ladyguards, for several reasons,” said Cherif Khaled, managing director of Falcon group which first launched the service three years ago.

“Women in Egypt now have been able to break into different fields. They have become businesswomen, lawyers, judges, even marriage officials,” he said. “When given the opportunity, Egyptian women are able to succeed.”

Updated on : Monday, December 14, 2009

LONDON: Despite worries about the damaging effects of the digital age on brain development, surfing the internet can, in fact, increase IQ and boost memory in adults, scientists have found.

Researchers at the University of California Los Angeles compared the brains of middle-aged participants who rarely used the internet to experienced internet users, as they conducted web searches for an hour each day.

After five days, areas of the prefrontal cortex, which controls the ability to make decisions and integrate complex information, had become significantly more active.

'These areas were fairly inactive at the beginning of our experiment,' says Gary Small,

Professor of Psychiatry and Bio-Behavioural Sciences at UCLA, who led the study. 'But after five days they were as active as regular internet users, showing that brain function can change and improve with internet use very fast. This research demonstrates that average IQ is steadily rising with the advancing of digital culture. The ability to process information fast and multitask without errors is improving too.'

Even dull activities, such as sorting through your emails, can boost decision-making ability.

'Selectively clearing your email in-box on a daily basis can help develop a better ability to sift through large amounts of information rapidly and decide what's important and what isn't,' says Professor Small.

'In this way, we are able to cope with massive amounts of information appearing and disappearing on our mental screens from moment to moment.'

But there is a downside. Prolonged computer use can have a profound effect on the way we think, feel and behave.

'While internet use can enhance information processing and rapid decision-making, excessive use can damage interpersonal skills, lead to attention deficit and reduced ability to form bonding, human relationships,' warns Professor Small.

'It's common sense - if you work all day at a computer, make sure you mix with real people as much as you can after work, rather than using social networking sites on the internet or playing computer games.'

A recent study revealed what women and psychology experts have long suspected: ads containing beautiful and flawless women makes women feel bad about themselves. According to the study, even the most attractive of women find themselves feeling bad about their appearance when looking at these ads.

The study involved surveying 81 college women and asking them to rate their opinion about their own appearance. The questions ranged from asking their opinions on their facial features to their chest size.

After rating themselves, some of the women were asked to look at magazine ads containing fashion models. The other women were asked to look at ads without women. The women were then surveyed again and those that saw the ads with the fashion models reported a lower body image.

The survey also found that even attractive women experienced a negative self body image after viewing the fashion models. This effectively dispelled the myth that larger sized women or those struggling with eating disorders are the only ones negatively impacted by images of fashion models.

The researchers involved with this study believe that even attractive women take a blow to self-esteem when seeing these ads because they are afraid of losing their attractive qualities. They also believe women still continue to look at these magazines and ads simply because they are looking for a way to be as beautiful as the women they see in the magazines. Even though women know these images are not realistic, they still hope to achieve this same unrealistic standard of beauty.

It is for this very reason that many marketing campaigns focus on making women feel as if they can avoid weight gain, signs of aging, and other “unattractive” qualities by purchasing and using their products. In essence, the ads strive to make women feel bad about themselves in an effort to get them to purchase their products.

The first step to empowering yourself is to eliminate the type of thinking that boxes you in and limits your goals. “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.” Henry Ford.

Without realizing it, we create boundaries for ourselves. Our brain requires parameters, and we create them either consciously or subconsciously. The trick is to recognize limiting beliefs, and reconstruct a new parameter in your brain, consciously. For example, let’s say someone invites you to climb a mountain. Do you think, “That would be awesome, but there is no way I can ever reach the top.” or “Wow, I am not ready for that yet, but I bet I could do it with a little preparation.”? When you think the first way, your brain sets a parameter based on your initial belief “I can never reach the top.” With this parameter set, even if you attempt to climb the mountain, your brain will be constantly bombarding you with thoughts like these: “This is too hard, let’s turn back,” “I have come far enough,” “This is farther than I expected to get.” You set yourself up to expect and accept failure. If on the other hand, you think the second way, you set yourself up to succeed. First you recognize limitations as challenges that you can overcome. Your brain sets up the parameter: “I can reach the top.” Since you now “know” that you can reach the top, your brain tries to figure out how. No longer are you bombarded with thoughts of giving up, now you think things like: “This is easier than I expected,” “We’re almost halfway up already,” “I can’t give up now,” “Just a little bit further.”

Recognizing the power your brain has over your actions, is the first step in being able to program it for success. Stop and think for a moment, how long have you been unthinkingly creating boundaries for yourself? How many years? Let’s start to reverse the damage. Say to yourself “I can do anything!” Say it over and over again until you really believe it! When a self limiting belief pops up, restructure it so that there is a potential to overcome it. Change every “I can’t” in your brain to “I CAN!” You really can do anything!

Now that you believe you can do anything, we need to make sure you understand that you are allowed to do anything. I know there are people in your life that love you; that you love. Often, we add limitations to our lives based on the expectations of those closest to us. Please don’t allow your fear of disappointing those you love impede your happiness. The people in your life that love you want what is best for YOU. They want you to be happy. You are actually disappointing them by denying yourself happiness. Everyone has responsibilities, but how we meet them is up to us. By all means, meet your responsibilities, but do so in a way that brings you joy! Live a life worth living. Enjoy living. Understand that you are able and allowed to do anything. Believe it. Know it.

By: Sheri Bodle

History is filled with men and women who made some of the greatest achievements by excelling only slightly over the masses of others in their field. Often that slight edge is attitude.

We must admit that aptitude is important to our success in life. Yet success or failure in any undertaking is caused more by mental attitude than by mere mental capabilities. Oh great, now it’s not only what I know but how I apply what I know. I read of a Princeton Seminary professor who discovered that the spirit of optimism really does make a difference. He made a study of great preachers across past centuries. He noted their tremendous varieties of personalities and gifts. Then he asked the questions, “What do these outstanding pulpiteers all have in common besides their faith?” After several years of searching he found the answer. It was their cheerfulness. In most cases they were happy men. The difference was attitude. They liked what they were doing.

Try faking a good attitude day after day and week after week. You may be able to get away with it for a short time but you can’t fake a good attitude for long. Either you ‘blow your top’ or your attitude actually adjusts to become positive.

Secondly, your attitude at the beginning of a task greatly determines the outcome. Have you ever started a task that you just hated or didn’t want to be doing? What happened? I have found that the task takes at least twice as long, sometimes more. I either miss something or break something or dump something. That’ll extend the task far beyond what it takes when I have a good attitude at the beginning.

Your attitude at the beginning greatly determines if the task will even get completed. If you start a task with a bad attitude what happens when you run into a problem? Most likely you’ll up and quit and tell everyone “you knew it couldn’t be done.” But if I have a good attitude at the beginning when problems come along I will see them as a challenge and find the solution.

Put that thinking into the job market. Why do two people with equal qualifications go for interviews one gets a job the other goes home upset with ‘the system.’ I have had several managers say it is simply their attitude. One asks what all the benefits are and how much time off he will get. The other asks what the advancement opportunities are gong to be for him. He asks if they are open to suggestions and improvement.

Once again, put that thinking into the home based business world. Everyone wants to make the big bucks and make them fast. So they start a new business only thinking of the money that will be coming in. They give no thought to learning, listening and advice. The attitude was ‘here I am come and give me your money.’ They were not concerned about the customer and the product they delivered.

Betty Gordon is successfully running a business with the attitude of helping others enjoy travel and have the opportunity to join with her in this internet venture. anointeddiamonds. Check it out and if you have the right attitude you to can be successful.

By: James Heller

Did you know that...

The Universe desires you to have everything you want to have.

Nature is friendly to your plans.
Everything is naturally for you.
Make up your mind that this is true.

~Wallace Wattles

Ah, and there's the trick.... making up your mind that this is true! Change Your Beliefs for Success!

Often, what we want to believe, and what we really believe are two different things... and which one do you think will win out? That's right- what we deep down, really believe, those beliefs that are lodged in our subconscious mind.

What are the beliefs that keep surfacing, that you are trying to change? "Positive thinking" and affirmations are great, but too often, they only penetrate the surface.

What did you learn about money when you were growing up? That it's hard to come by? That you need to work long and hard for it? Or maybe, that it's the root of all evil? That rich people are selfish snobs? Even though you may really need and want money, what are your feelings when you see people that have it? Does it seem totally outside your reality?

You can go through life, consciously trying to change, trying to stay on top of every thought, action and word.... exhausting and self defeating, isn't it?

So, how do you know what subconscious beliefs might be holding you back?

One simple way to find out is to start writing statements like these:

"I deserve success and happiness."
"Success comes easily."
"I find it easy to make money."
"I encounter opportunities wherever I go."
"I am know what I want in life."
"I am ready to face any challenges."
"I believe in my ability to create success."

Take a look at what you wrote, and as you read each statement out loud, pay attention to how you feel inside.

If any statement conflicts with one of your external beliefs, you will feel a twinge of guilt or fear, a feeling as if you were lying to yourself. The feeling may be subtle, but if you pay close enough attention, you will sense it.

Circle any statement that doesn't resonate with you. Those are the beliefs you need to work on if you want to make any progress. You can not change anything, unless you know what it is, and acknowledge it.

And how do you change existing beliefs? You let them go, and replace them with more empowering beliefs.

This is why this exercise is so helpful. It will help you bring your old subconscious beliefs into awareness. Now it's time to acknowledge them, let them go, and replace them with more positive and forward moving beliefs.

Did you know, that students who score well on tests are the ones who are most relaxed? That geniuses put very little effort into thought, that ideas just seem to come to them? High performance athletes don't think they do. Of course, they have studied, and trained, but when the time comes, they perform on a level above thought. So the point is.... relax, stop thinking, stop trying, and study, train, and DO!

By: Jane Maati Smith

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” James Allen

“Nothing limits achievement like small thinking; nothing expands possibilities like unleashed thinking.” William Arthur Ward

If there is anything that people hate to hear is that they are a product of their thoughts. In a world that likes to blame everyone else for their situation the last thing we want to accept is that where I am and who I am today is a culmination of my thoughts of my many yesterdays. We have built a western culture on “making someone pay” for what is happening to me today. The whole legal system seems to be making billions of dollars perpetuating this “victim” mentality. It is tying up the legal system with frivolous lawsuits. It would be like suing your parents because they used cloth diapers rather than pampers for the way you are today.

A study was done by the University of Tennessee over a 12 year time period. One group of people listened to just 5 minutes of negative news broadcasts – earthquakes kill thousands, bus blown up and 20 children killed, shooting in a church, shooting in a mall. Then the other group listened to more positive and uplifting news – organization helps struggling family with medical attention, motorist stops to help elderly man who had slipped on ice, church provides sandwiches, cookies and juice every school day for those children who come without a lunch.

There were four discernible effects on the listeners who were daily exposed to five minutes of bad news:

1. they were more depressed than before
2. they believed the world was a negative place
3. they were less like to help others
4. they began to believe that what they heard would soon happen to them.

Simply by receiving and reflecting on the information from the radio program, their perceptions of the world and their outlook on life were adversely affected. Their concept of reality was shaped by their thoughts.

You listen to the top motivational speakers – Myron Golden, Jerry Clark, Jeffrey Coombs, Ellie Drake, Dani Johnson, and all the others. Every one of them proclaims the importance of paying attention to what you are listening to every day. Every one of them tell you to stop listening to the TV news, the radio news. Stop reading the first few pages of the news papers. Instead take that time to listen to or read something worthwhile and uplifting.

The Bible says in the book of Proverbs, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” This whole idea of our thoughts shaping our lives is not some new breakthrough in behavioural science. It has been around since the dawn of time. We just don’t like to accept it. It is much easier to take the easy road of the negative thinking. Unfortunately that easy road leads to the garbage dump of life. To be someone, to do something, to value others, to respect others all takes mental work. But we have become too lazy. We want life to give to us. But it does not give. We must build. We must work. We must become.

So, are you having a successful life? Do you wake up each day and say, “life is worth the living?” If you don’t, take the time to examine what you are thinking about. Take the time to see what thoughts are being received by your ears. If they are continually negative change what you are listening to. Change what you are reading. Change what you are thinking about. What we think influences what we do. What we think affects the feelings we feel.

Nolan Padgett is into this whole thing of getting out of bed seeing that it is going to be a great day with funforturenow and floridagatortravel. He is having a successful life as he changes his thinking to success thoughts.  By : James Heller