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I received this from one of my spiritual mentors and I thought it a wonderful message to begin the new week of a new month! This article is by Jim Rohn. Enjoy!
"The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention." ~ Esther Hicks
Think about this. Are you someone you would want to spend quality time with? Or, are you the one everyone wants to get away from?
I remember as a small child the telephone ringing; I would answer and tell my mother who the caller was. For some, she would jump up to answer the phone. But for others, she would make a face and tell me to inform them she was out, or sleeping. This has always remained with me because I often thought: when am I the one on the other end of the phone?
When you are in a state of joy, of happiness, of bliss, then you radiate positive energy – the kind of energy other people would like to be around. Yet, when you are in a place of anger, resentment, sending out negative vibes, two things happen: you attract more of the same and you subtract the positive people from your life.
We have all been there. The so-called friend that when we hear their name mentioned our eyes roll up into our heads so far we can see the moon. Don’t be that friend.
Being happy is a choice. And you get to choose.
Coach Carolyn
"It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you'll drift in that direction." ~ Warren Buffett
The late Jim Rohn taught that we are the average of our five closest friends. Think about the five people you spend the most time with. Stop, take a breath and ask yourself:
Are our conversations positive and uplifting or negative and draining?
Can I be my authentic self around them?
Do they support and encourage me no matter what, or are they naysayers and bring me down most of the time?
As the year winds down, take some time to do some serious self-reflection. Move into 2010 with a new outlook on your life. Let go of the shackles and lighten your load.
And I am talking about your five closest friends; those people you have chosen to be in your life, in your inner circle. We cannot help our family members, work colleagues and superiors but we do have choice over the quantity and quality of time we spend with them. Spend only time with them permitted by work or family gatherings; and only share with them the parts of your life related particularly to them. You don’t have to tell everyone you are thinking of starting a business, especially if they will not give you the support and encouragement you need.
It’s all about choice. You have the power to choose peace or confusion. You have the power to choose your friends as well. It doesn’t matter if you have known them since the year of the flood; if they are toxic, then it’s time to renegotiate that friendship. We always worry about offending someone or hurting someone’s feelings. Yet, we are prepared to get beat up at every turn. Living an authentic life means you have the peace you were born with, and can access that peace especially when things get heated.
Having grown up in drama, I made the decision that the only drama I wanted in my life was on a movie screen and I could walk away from it after the credits roll. I made that choice, and it has made all the difference.
It’s your life, and you only get one; but if you work it right, one is all you need!
Coach Carolyn
"If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is no poverty and no indifferent place." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
You have heard it said that when you point the finger of blame, there are three fingers pointing right back at you. It is so easy to blame our circumstances and external events when things in our lives just aren’t going well. It is the fault of the economy, the government, my boss, my spouse, my Golden Retriever, the list goes on. Yet, there is one person we seem to leave off that list; and all you need do is look in the mirror. Now, unless you are a vampire, you will be looking at yourself.
It is your choices that have created the situations you are dealing with in your life. I know we don’t like to hear this, because it was someone else’s doings and undoings that created this situation. That may be the case, but you still made the choice to become involved. We do have choice. We do not have to show up to every argument, drama or negativity that we are invited to. The invitations on those are flowing. Sometimes it’s okay to just stay home.
You have the power to choose… choose wisely!
Coach Carolyn
Now that Halloween is over, it’s time to see those Christmas decorations go up. Retailers will begin the holiday shopping season with Black Friday 2009 Online Deals. As a matter of fact, some have begun already. The day after Thanksgiving, known as Black Friday, is the busiest shopping day of the year. This is the day when folks want to catch those sales. Some have even taken to spending the night before outside the stores waiting for them to open the next morning. Amazing what we tend to focus on. It is said that what we focus on, expands. Hummm….
Personally, I prefer to shop online. I am not one for crowds, noise, or the madness of shopping. I have created for myself a life of ease and peace. Online shopping works well in that plan. What I focus my mind on is a life that is easy and relaxed, not hurried or stressed. Of course, we must shop. But we can control how our shopping will be. Now, I know that some people like the stress of last minute shopping or battling for that last item. I dare say some folks are hard up for excitement. Lazily shopping online is enough excitement for me, thank you!
Remember, where we have choice in our lives, it is a good idea to exercise that choice. We have the amazing power to choose and we tend to let that power slip away. Shopping is something that must get done, whatever we are shopping for. So why not shop more consciously? Because I leisurely shop online, I know I will get whatever I need without the drama.
Create less drama in your life… focus on ease,
Coach Carolyn
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." ~ Groucho Marx
Circumstances will happen in life. Some we may have had a hand in, others not. The past is the past and we cannot change or control it. We must simply accept it as the past, take the lesson and move on. It does no good to dwell on the past or on events we have no control over.
When we can see every event or situation as a learning experience, then we will not live our lives in victim-mode. That too is a choice – there are no victims, only volunteers. So, which are you choosing to be?
"Being miserable is a habit. Being happy is a habit. The choice is yours." ~ Tom Hopkins
Choose wisely,
Coach Carolyn
"The major block to compassion is the judgment in our minds. Judgment is the mind's primary tool of separation." ~ Diane Berke
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts feelings and outcomes.
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." ~ Buddhist Quote
“Before I was born in this physical body, a whole society of storytellers was already here. The story was ongoing, and from their story I learned how to create my own. The storytellers whoa re here before us teach us how to be human.
First they tell us what we are – a boy or a girl – then they tell us who we are, and who we should or shouldn’t be. They teach us how to be a proper woman, a decent woman, a strong man, a brave man.
They give us a name, an identity, and they tell us the role that we are playing in their story. They prepare us to live in a human jungle, to compete with one another, to control one another, to impose our will, to fight against our own kind.
Of course I believed what the storytellers told me. Why would I not believe them? They filled me with knowledge, and I used that knowledge to copy their style and create my art in a similar way.”
From The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz
“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now."
~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
"What choice would you like to make?"
The most powerful way to control your focus is through the use of questions.” ~ Anthony Robbins
Choose wisely,
Coach Carolyn
"There is a thought in your mind right now. The longer you hold on to it, the more you dwell upon it, the more life you give to that thought. Give it enough life, and it will become real. So make sure the thought is indeed a great one." ~ Ralph Marston
Most of our self-talk comes unconsciously from our subconscious. Yet every thought that exists in our subconscious got there through a conscious decision to accept that thought.
We need to become conscious of our self-talk so we can at will choose to replace negative beliefs with positive ones. We have the power to choose an identity we love, but we need to do the work. The process of changing our subconscious beliefs requires awareness, diligence, consistency and repetition.
~ From Higher Awareness
We have an amazing power that we tend to take for granted. It is our power to choose. We can always choose to make a different choice, especially when our original choice isn't working for us. We must learn to ask questions ~ we must question our choice.
We do know when our lives are out of whack. We do know when things just aren't going according to plan. Yet, we continue to make the same choices and do things the same way. Remember the definition of insanity ~ doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
So, just for today, choose to make a purposeful choice ~ a choice that will bring peace to your life instead of chaos; a choice that will result in freedom and not frenzy.
You have the power ~ choose wisely!
Coach Carolyn
This past weekend, I conducted a new workshop called The Confident Woman. It was a blessed experience. The women were awesome and the sharing and caring was tremendous. We shared, prayed, laughed, cried, ate, and hugged in a sacred space that made us all feel like family.
One of the stumbling blocks to being confident was fear. I have spoken quite a bit on this blog about fears and how they keep us from living a passionate and purposeful life. Fears block our confidence. Just imagine the things you would try if fears were not limiting you.
A building block to living a confident life is gratitude, again an old friend of this blog. Living in an attitude of gratitude opens the door to abundance giving you the confidence to live a life free of negativity.
I am a firm believer in visuals. Visuals create a picture in the mind that mere words cannot top. One of my dear friends and workshop participants, Kathleen bought me a beautiful perfume bottle for my last birthday. I asked the women if they would love to have this bottle. They all said they would. I then explained that it is filled with poison (not the fragrance). Now would you like to have this bottle? Of course, this time all said no. Yet, I explained, when someone offends, demeans, or insults you, you take that and ingest it – like poison. Realization! Don’t you love it?
To be a confident woman, you must make the conscious choice to not attend every pity party, anger-fest, and offensive gathering that you are invited to. Just say, “Thank you for sharing; I choose not to receive that.” And move on. No need to give further explanation; which only leads to further confrontation.
We were given an awesome power – the power to choose. Yet, sometimes we do not exercise that power wisely. Stopping is a spiritual action. When we are in the midst of a major or even a not so major decision, stop, take a breath, and then choose. And remember, making no choice, is also a choice. Make the choice to live an amazing and confident life.
Live passionately with confidence!
Coach Carolyn
Greetings Purposeful Divas, and Dons!
Because my birthday is in one week, I have found myself on the dark side. And when I am in this funky space, I tend towards limiting beliefs and negative self talk. You know the kind: "I should be doing this," or "Why aren't I doing that?" Yes, those gremlins. And yes, I have them too; which is why I can speak about them as an expert. Well, every year, like clockwork, the gremlins visit me for a private birthday celebration. Nasty like demons!
So, I thought I'd write about them -- for a few reasons. To share with you, to get out of my own head, and to journey together to rid ourselves of them. Just in case you are having a private party yourself.
What are beliefs? Beliefs are a set of generalizations we make about others, about the world around us, and about ourselves. They are NOT facts, though we may act as if they were. This is an important point: in the middle of the word 'belief' is the word 'lie.' But because beliefs form our reality, we see them as truth.
So, how do we rid ourselves of those pesky little gremlins called limiting beliefs? The only way to break through limiting beliefs is to choose to do so. Yeah, I know what you're thinking? Is that it? Well, yes. Choice is our most powerful weapon in the universe. And unfortunately, we, especially we women, don't exercise that power very often. That muscle has become atrophied. Time to exercise, ladies!
Once we make the conscious choice to break through the limiting beliefs and the negative self talk, then we need to live in that intention. One effective method for me: I take myself on an artist date. Yes, I am a devout student of the Artist's Way. Going on artist dates not only stirs and sparks creativity, but it gets you out of your head, which is where those gremlins take up residency. Rent in New York City; and they get to live for free!
On my artist date, I love long bus rides. They are tremendously freeing. I just sit back and meditate. I go through my gratitudes and blessings, which are many. I create new ways to empower women, including myself. I journal. My morning pages know all hours of the day. And being on the bus allows me to experience sorrow, joy, and gratitude -- all while being driven to some fabulous and perhaps unknown destination. What I am saying is I can just be. This is my choice, to be and be free!
Until next time, live passionately on purpose!
Coach Carolyn
