All About Women | Women

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.” ~ Shirley Maclaine

The one insidious thing about fear is that it steals your true identity.

When you are in a state of fear, you do not think, behave or speak as you would when you are not afraid. You become a lesser version of yourself. Your authentic self becomes buried beneath the fear and cowering. This, in turn, has the ripple effect. Your are not your real self to people who would become friends. You show up as the lesser you. So if you are wondering why your relationships are not what they ought, think about how you are “being.”

Are you being fearful?

Because if you are, then you need to know that fear will not allow you to have healthy, long-lasting relationships. Your relationships may last long, but I can bet you they are not healthy and filled with peaceful exchanges. They are not nutritious. Look at your relationships – familial, work, social and otherwise. How would you diagnose them? Healthy or sick?

Remember, you are the common denominator of those relationships; so if they are not healthy, guess what?

"To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." ~ Bertrand Russell

Coach Carolyn

Don't let fear steal your identity or ruin your relationships. Join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program today and take back your identity.

“You can never become a great man or woman until you have overcome anxiety, worry, and fear. It is impossible for an anxious person, a worried one, or a fearful one to perceive truth; all things are distorted and thrown out of their proper relations by such mental states, and those who are in them cannot read the thoughts of God.” ~ Wallace D. Wattles

We live in a world of wonderful connections and relationships. Yet, there is something that looms within those connections and relationships that keep us stuck, keep us struggling, keep us broke, and keep us falling into habit patterns that simply do not serve. That something is fear. As Wattles says in The Science of Getting Rich, when we are fearful we cannot perceive truth or properly connect with God or one another.

I have read that most relationships end because of lack of communication. I believe the underlying agent is fear. Why can't we communicate properly? We are afraid of what the other might think.... We are afraid of being rejected.... We are afraid of being hurt.... We are afraid of looking stupid.... And on and on and on it goes. Why are we so afraid? Beliefs, habits and paradigms that do not serve us.

Then we get into another relationship that looks exactly like the one we just got out of or even more toxic. The cycle continues. It is time to get off of the merry-go-round of fear and anxiety. Life is meant to be about ease and flow, not effort and fear. Unfortunately, I see more of the latter than the former. I can see it very clearly because I used to be smack dab in the center of it. I was afraid of everything. Growing up in violence, fear was the name of the game. So, I learned to disappear and it served me well - too well, I may add.

I finally made the decision to get off the fear merry-go-round. But it was not easy. It still is not easy; but because I made the decision, I did it. I had to get in alignment with what the universe had in store for me. Today, I have the tools in my toolkit to release the fears that hold me back and keep me stuck, and transcend the fears that are working for my highest good.

If you too are ready to release limiting beliefs and fears that keep you stuck, then join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program. Stop letting your fears keep you from the connections and relationships you were destined to have.

Here's to transcending your fears!
Coach Carolyn

It seems as if the issues around relationships and especially the loss of them are prevalent. When I signed on to do this review, I thought this book was a romance novel. The title says it all: Kiss Me Again! Then, I read it. Not a novel, but very refreshing and novel in its approach.

Barbara Wilson, author of Kiss Me Again: Restoring Lost Intimacy in Marriage, says that many married women genuinely want to feel more desire toward their husbands. But while sex before marriage was hard to resist, now resisting seems like all they do. In her new book, she shows how couples can suffer for years from the “invisible bonds” of previous relationships without even knowing it. Hidden emotions of distrust, shame, and resentment can sabotage even the most loving marriage.

In the book, Barbara shares her own story of healing and renewed desire, helps women forgive themselves and their husbands for past choices and shows readers how to break free from “invisible bonds” while helping couples reignite the passion that they thought was lost, and all from a biblical perspective.

With assessment tools, write-in exercises, and gentle guidance, Kiss Me Again offers a biblical plan for rekindling the closeness and passion women long for in marriage. Because no past is beyond the reach of God’s healing touch.

Just from reading some of the questions, I was opened up in ways I did not expect. I invite you to visit the Random House website and purchase Kiss Me Again if you desire the passion in your marriage that you thought was lost.


This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Coach Carolyn

When I sent out the word for prayer intentions, I stated three areas of intention: Relationships, Business & Career, and Health & Wellness. As I am recording the intentions, the longest list is for healing in the area of relationships. Also, on the BWP Meetup Forum, I started a thread with the question: “What's keeping you stuck?” once again, relationships led the way.

A couple of years ago, I led a three evening workshop for a singles group called The Joy of Living on Purpose for Singles. The comments and realizations were astonishing, sad but astonishing. I found that we are looking for love in all the wrong places. We are looking for love to feel complete – the proverbial lone sock, as one woman stated. It is difficult to be alone in a couple-oriented society. Don’t you love it when you walk in a restaurant, and the server or host asks: “Just one?” Like it’s some kind of cootie disease. I have now begin answering, “Yes, the one and only!”

Unlike, a great career or passion, we don’t properly prepare for a loving relationship. Oh yes, we certainly expect it, but without any preparation or planning. We simply jump in with the first person to come along who has a pulse.

“Is he breathing? Okay, then he'll do!”

Hold on, now. You are worth so much more than that. But if you treat your romantic or even platonic relationships this way, don’t expect to receive too much from them. You get what you pay for, if I may be so blunt. If you put nothing into the preparation, then you will receive even less. Believe me, I know.

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction, offers ten top things to do to manifest your soul mate. She writes:

Prior to meeting Brian ten years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I would light several candles at sunset, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants and sit in my big, cozy chair. With my eyes closed I would drop into the feeling of remembering the joy of having my soul mate in my life. I would experience these wonderful feelings in every part of my body KNOWING that he was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late did cross my mind but I would just let those thoughts go and get back into a state of grace….feeling and knowing that his arrival was assured.

To manifest your soul mate here are the ten top things to do and remember:

• Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.
• Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
• Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.
• Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.
• Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.
• Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.
• Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).
• Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.
• Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.
• Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are lovable.

Check out the First 30 Days website to read the rest of Arielle’s article. BTW, Arielle is Debbie Ford's sister. Totally rockin' women!

I recently had an interesting conversation with a young man frustrated by his efforts to meet and date women. His approach was with the end in mind; which in some respects would be fine. However, there was no beginning. He was in for the kill and forget about the formalities. Now, I know that we live in a drive-thru, fast-food, want-it-yesterday society. I am not oblivious to this fact. Yet, when it comes to dating, I think we should take things just a little bit slower.