All About Women | Women

“NOW is the operative word. Everything you put in your way is just a method of putting off the hour when you could actually be doing your dream. You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.” ~ Sam Ewing

Is what you are consistently saying to yourself contributing to your fears? Are you allowing your negative self talk to dictate your life and sabotage your dreams? Are your fears being fueled by the energy of your negative inner chatter? If you have answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, then it is time to re-write your inner script and re-design your life.

Remember when you were a child. You had no worries and no cares. Everything was taken care of for you. You just played happily, knowing that somehow all of your needs would be met. You were also fearless. You could tackle anything. You even had to be taught to avoid the clear and present dangers, like animals that could harm you. So, what happened? Well, you grew up! And in growing up, you were conditioned against what you instinctively knew – that you are fearless! That fear is merely a stepping stone to a new adventure.

In some of our popular children’s stories, Alice was not afraid to go beyond the looking glass; the children of Narnia could not wait to see what adventures were in back of that huge bureau. Children are naturally curious and full of wonder and awe. As we grow up, we have lost that sense of wonderment and awe. We have lost our natural spirit of curiosity, replacing it with the spirit of trepidation. That natural spirit of curiosity is what sparked our passions and helped fueled our dreams, creating the adults we are today. Yet, somewhere along the way, the spark has dulled and dimmed and so has our sense of wonder.

As adults, we seldom, if ever, allow our eyes to widen and our voices to squeak, “Ooooh!” We have stopped asking questions. I remember as a child, I would drive my mother crazy because I would ask a question, then upon hearing the answer would ask, “Why?” I kept this up until my mother, in utter frustration, would very firmly say, “Because I said so!” We have lost this childlike curiosity of asking questions; and have taken up the unfortunate habit of talking to ourselves in the negative.

Daily Practice:
When you hear the negative inner chatter, simple stop, take a breath and ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” Then simply wait for the answer. Don’t force anything. Don’t get impatient or frustrated if you do not receive an immediate answer. Remember, the answers are within you, they have become blocked by the toxicity of daily life. You need to create practices to clear the toxicity away.

“Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things,
but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.”
~ Angelique Arnauld, Abbess of Port-Royal

In August at the Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup, I will be facilitating a 3-part discussion series called Blocks to Living with Passion. They will take place on three consecutive Saturday afternoons and we will discuss three things that hinder living a life of passion and purpose.

Greetings Purposeful Divas, and Dons!

Because my birthday is in one week, I have found myself on the dark side. And when I am in this funky space, I tend towards limiting beliefs and negative self talk. You know the kind: "I should be doing this," or "Why aren't I doing that?" Yes, those gremlins. And yes, I have them too; which is why I can speak about them as an expert. Well, every year, like clockwork, the gremlins visit me for a private birthday celebration. Nasty like demons!

So, I thought I'd write about them -- for a few reasons. To share with you, to get out of my own head, and to journey together to rid ourselves of them. Just in case you are having a private party yourself.

What are beliefs? Beliefs are a set of generalizations we make about others, about the world around us, and about ourselves. They are NOT facts, though we may act as if they were. This is an important point: in the middle of the word 'belief' is the word 'lie.' But because beliefs form our reality, we see them as truth.

So, how do we rid ourselves of those pesky little gremlins called limiting beliefs? The only way to break through limiting beliefs is to choose to do so. Yeah, I know what you're thinking? Is that it? Well, yes. Choice is our most powerful weapon in the universe. And unfortunately, we, especially we women, don't exercise that power very often. That muscle has become atrophied. Time to exercise, ladies!

Once we make the conscious choice to break through the limiting beliefs and the negative self talk, then we need to live in that intention. One effective method for me: I take myself on an artist date. Yes, I am a devout student of the Artist's Way. Going on artist dates not only stirs and sparks creativity, but it gets you out of your head, which is where those gremlins take up residency. Rent in New York City; and they get to live for free!

On my artist date, I love long bus rides. They are tremendously freeing. I just sit back and meditate. I go through my gratitudes and blessings, which are many. I create new ways to empower women, including myself. I journal. My morning pages know all hours of the day. And being on the bus allows me to experience sorrow, joy, and gratitude -- all while being driven to some fabulous and perhaps unknown destination. What I am saying is I can just be. This is my choice, to be and be free!

Until next time, live passionately on purpose!
Coach Carolyn