All About Women | Women

I want to share this wonderful article on overcoming fear by Zig Ziglar. Enjoy!

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Fear has been correctly identified with the acrostic False Evidence Appearing Real. The truth is that if we think something is to be feared, that perception becomes the cruelest form of reality.

A second-grade boy was overheard saying, “It’s easy to be brave when you’re not scared.” By the same token, it’s easy to talk about how to overcome fear when you have little to be afraid of. Fear is certainly real for most people and all of us face a fear of something - poverty, divorce, rejection, death, failure, speaking in public, being laughed at, etc.

How do we overcome fear? First we must learn to examine our fears. Example: Giving a speech, which is the number one fear in our country, according to Reader’s Digest. (It’s also a tremendous confidence-builder.) If that’s your fear, ask yourself a few questions. “Why am I afraid to make a speech? Is it because I’m afraid of being rejected? Then why do I think I’ll be rejected? Do I believe what I’m about to say? Is my speech worth giving? Am I proud of the comments I’m about to make?” As you ask yourself these questions, the fear will begin to subside. It subsides because you have explored your subconscious mind with your questions and flushed out some of your fears.

My research indicates that only three people have died while making a speech. Since twelve billion people have lived and only three of them died making a speech, I’d say it’s a fairly safe thing to do. If you’re a little nervous, consider this: You could lead a mule into a crowded room and he would be so calm that he would almost go to sleep standing up. A thoroughbred in the same situation would be as nervous as a cat. If you’re a little nervous, just be grateful you’re a thoroughbred - not a mule. So face those inner feelings, stand up and speak up with confidence. When you do, I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 27 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

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Here's to living fearless!
Coach Carolyn

This month, I conducted a 3-part discussion series called Blocks to Living with Passion for the Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup. The three gatherings were focused on overcoming fear, limiting beliefs, and negativity.

What amazes me the most is that women have this burning need and desire to talk about these kinds of issues but really have no safe space to do that. Yes, we have our bestest girlfriends, but how long can we talk about the same issues that seem to grip us and won't let go? After awhile, even our dearest friends don't want to hear it anymore. We are countered with the old "Aren't you over that by now?" routine. So we sulk in silence.

These discussions brought up everything from fear of losing control to unresolved grief and loss. The tissues came in handy. I have been conducting groups for about twelve years now, and it never ceases to amaze me the dynamics of the groups. Women come in looking for answers, or at least help to resolve something that they are dealing with. They leave being a loving support for another woman, in turn, helping themselves.

Some of the women bonded, forming connections of support and encouragement. They shared emails and resources. But the loveliest, at least for me, is they all shared their stories and their hearts with total strangers.

Joining a group can be very scary. You don't know who the others are and you don't know what will be expected of you. If you are not a public speaker, then it can be even more daunting. But half the battle is showing up, which takes tremendous courage. Once you show up, you come to realize that everyone is there for a similar reason -- overcoming something that is limiting your life.

I am very proud of the women that showed up for these discussions. They not only showed up, but they shared their hearts, their stories and their vulnerabilities. They opened themselves up to and for other women.

The best lesson I received was knowing that there are women who are in need of the opportunity for sharing and releasing the toxins in their lives, and that I can provide that safe and sacred space for them. Not just the venue, but the atmosphere, the support, and the validation.

What an honor! Thanks to all the women who just show up!

Wishing you passion and peace,
Coach Carolyn

In the first of the 3-part series on Blocks to Living with Passion, the Becoming a Woman of Purpose Group gathered to discuss Overcoming Fears. It was a lively and very moving discussion. I was very proud of the way the women came together as total strangers to talk about something very personal and sometimes very painful. And they left knowing that they each were the keepers of something very sacred -- one another's inner light.