All About Women | Women

Here is a wonderful article by my sister blogger, the rockin' ipopin Kirsten Harrell. Kirsten hangs out at Think Positive!

When fear creeps up, tune into one or all of these. I am a personal student of meditation and meridien tapping. Enjoy!

Everyone feels fear at some point in his or her life. Fear is a natural and useful emotion. Feeling afraid to pick up a poisonous spider, walk down a dark deserted alley in a high crime area, or walk across a busy highway keeps us safe. However, many people suffer from unnecessary and sometimes irrational fears. This type of fear can keep you from achieving your goals and enjoying life - especially if you have many fears. Some common fears include, spiders, snakes, terrorism, public speaking, dogs, and heights. If you are struggling with fears and you want to learn how to conquer them, I suggest 3 different paths you can try.

The western way – A tried and true approach to reduce and eliminate fears is to use the process known as systematic desensitization. This involves repeated and graduated exposure to the feared stimulus paired with relaxation techniques (deep breathing, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.). For example, if you are afraid of heights you might start by viewing a video taken from on top of a tall building and practice your relaxation techniques until you feel comfortable viewing this video. Once you can look at the video without any fear, you might try going to the top floor of a small building and looking out the window while practicing your relaxation techniques. Continue with these graduated steps paired with your relaxation techniques until you can go to the top of a tall building and feel comfortable. If you have intense fears, you will probably want to seek the support of a therapist to help you use this process.

The eastern way - Meditation can help you reduce your fear response. Scientific research has shown that meditation can change the brain and help reduce fear, anxiety, anger, and depression. Dr. Richard Davidson (University of Wisconsin) found that meditating helps increase activity in the left pre-frontal cortex (part of brain associated with happiness and positivity) and quiet activity in the amygdala and right pre-frontal cortex (parts associated with fear). Regular meditation can also help you connect with your inner resources that help you to feel more calm and confident. To start a meditation practice, I suggest that you start small – try for a few minutes each day and work your way to a length of time that works for you. Remember that meditation is NOT about stopping the brain from thinking! That is what the brain does by nature – it thinks. The key to meditation is to be aware of these thoughts (and they will come) and then bring your awareness back to the present moment.

East meets West - Tap, tap, tap your fears away with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). There is evidence to support this new technique that involves acupressure combined with mental activities to reduce fear quickly and easily. EFT, a particular type of energy psychology, is showing great promise as a quick and efficient method to conquer fears. EFT involves simple stimulation of certain acupressure points in order to reprogram the energy system to have a new reaction to old fearful thoughts and stimuli. Tapping acupressure points while focusing on a fearful memory seems to deactivate areas of the brain that are involved in fear and pain. EFT is something you can learn from a book, the EFT website, or a practitioner and then practice on your own anytime you need it.

If fear is interfering with your life, there is hope. You don't have to simply put up with a life full of fear. Any of the above techniques can help you conquer your fear and move forward with your life feeling more calm, cool, and confident.


~*~*~*~
Coach Carolyn

Breathing deep slows the heart rate, relaxes the muscles, focuses the mind and is an ideal way to relax, calm and quiet the mind.

My dear blog sister, Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. wrote this fantastic article on her site Think Positive! I wanted to share it here. If you want an amazing dose of daily positivity, check out Kirsten’s blog and subscribe to receive her daily ipopins. I write them in my daily planner to read several times throughout the day. It keeps my vibration at an all time high! You can also purchase her ipopins as downloadable mp3’s to carry with you.

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Take a deep breathe!
Breathe in… and out. One more time. A nice deep breath in… and gently exhale. Doesn’t that feel good?

Breathing is something that we take for granted. It happens all day and all night often without any effort or conscious awareness. A normal respiratory rate for an adult is between 12 – 20 breaths per minute. That is somewhere between 17,000 and 29,000 breaths per day!

Do you know that focused breathing exercises can help you relax your body and mind? Try this simple yet effective exercise. Count your breaths. Start with an exhalation and count 1. Next time you exhale count 2. Repeat this up to 5. Keep your attention on your breath and the counting. Repeat as many times as you are comfortable with. You can take just a few minutes and you will feel more relaxed and centered. You can do this several times a day to help you stay relaxed, calm, and focused.

You might also try some deep diaphragmatic breathing. Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Breathe normally. If the hand on your chest moves more as you breathe, you are breathing shallowly. Try exhaling fully and then taking a nice deep breath in. You should now notice the hand on your belly moving more. This is deep diaphragmatic breathing! Practice this several times a day. The more you practice, the quicker you will retrain your body to do this type of breathing regularly and the more relaxed you will be.

Research has shown that simple breathing exercises like these can reduce stress and anxiety as well as increase relaxation by calming the autonomic nervous system.
*****

Your breath is always with you. Use it!
Coach Carolyn

This past week, I had an executive board meeting for the Pink Collar Club. As part of the opening, our wonderful servant leader, Randee Krumwiede, asked each of us to name one pet peeve we were dealing with. Now, if you have been reading my blogs, you know that I don’t have just one, though they all amount to the same thing – fear.

So, I shared that what gets me is when folks are wanting to make changes in their lives, they say that they want change in their lives, yet, are unwilling to take the action to make the change happen. Randee quipped, “Spoken like a true coach!” Well, it’s true! People want the results, yet are not willing to do what it takes to get those results.

I have been really meditating over this because I want to get to the root cause of this. I want to unlock the block with folks. I know the block is fear. This morning I opened my email and received my ipopin, my daily, one minute affirmation from my blog sister, Kirsten Harrell. Today’s affirmation is “I create my own reality.” I must find out if Kirsten is bugging my brain because her daily affirmations are just what I am working on, either in my own life or with clients.

This all reminds me of the Tea Cup Story. If I want my life to be filled with passion and purpose and surrounded by peace, then I must do what I can to make that a reality. I have the power of choice – I must first choose to want to change. This story tells is all.

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke. "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup.

There was a time when I was brown and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'let me alone', but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy! I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'

Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at yourself. And I did.

I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up.

I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked.

I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life.

And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.

As Kirsten says, “I create my own reality.” Your first step? Being willing to create your own reality. So I invite you to stop... sit and have a cup of tea... and think about the changes the teacup went through to be the beautiful teacup you hold right now... then make the choice to create your own reality.

Create your reality passionately!
Coach Carolyn