All About Women | Women

As we wind down 2009, I want to share articles that will guide and transition you into a beautiful 2010. From First 30 Days, this article helps take personal inventory and ask some quality questions.

A fabulous piece of advice from First 30 Days. I always tell my clients and students to choose a theme or a feeling for the new year. It's a great step up from making resolutions, which we rarely follow through on. Take note and enjoy!

Here is some sound advice on changing your beliefs by Ariane de Bonvoisin of First 30 Days:

If you find yourself stuck in the middle of a change, work on changing any beliefs that might be holding you back. Just as you created your current beliefs, you can replace them with new ones.

1. Write down any negative beliefs about the current change—for example, I'll never get well, I don’t have what it takes to succeed and so on.

2. Imagine that you're sitting with the most optimistic person you know, ready to choose better beliefs about this change. What would they be? Write these down—for example, I'm strong enough to get well, I have what it takes, etc.

3. Put these ideas someplace visible and read them once or twice a day.

Don't be discouraged if your mind resists initially. Research has shown that it takes between 21 and 28 days for something to become a habit. Stick with it, and these new beliefs will eventually become a part of you.

Read more advice on getting through change in Ariane's book, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier.

Coach Carolyn

When I sent out the word for prayer intentions, I stated three areas of intention: Relationships, Business & Career, and Health & Wellness. As I am recording the intentions, the longest list is for healing in the area of relationships. Also, on the BWP Meetup Forum, I started a thread with the question: “What's keeping you stuck?” once again, relationships led the way.

A couple of years ago, I led a three evening workshop for a singles group called The Joy of Living on Purpose for Singles. The comments and realizations were astonishing, sad but astonishing. I found that we are looking for love in all the wrong places. We are looking for love to feel complete – the proverbial lone sock, as one woman stated. It is difficult to be alone in a couple-oriented society. Don’t you love it when you walk in a restaurant, and the server or host asks: “Just one?” Like it’s some kind of cootie disease. I have now begin answering, “Yes, the one and only!”

Unlike, a great career or passion, we don’t properly prepare for a loving relationship. Oh yes, we certainly expect it, but without any preparation or planning. We simply jump in with the first person to come along who has a pulse.

“Is he breathing? Okay, then he'll do!”

Hold on, now. You are worth so much more than that. But if you treat your romantic or even platonic relationships this way, don’t expect to receive too much from them. You get what you pay for, if I may be so blunt. If you put nothing into the preparation, then you will receive even less. Believe me, I know.

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction, offers ten top things to do to manifest your soul mate. She writes:

Prior to meeting Brian ten years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I would light several candles at sunset, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants and sit in my big, cozy chair. With my eyes closed I would drop into the feeling of remembering the joy of having my soul mate in my life. I would experience these wonderful feelings in every part of my body KNOWING that he was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late did cross my mind but I would just let those thoughts go and get back into a state of grace….feeling and knowing that his arrival was assured.

To manifest your soul mate here are the ten top things to do and remember:

• Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.
• Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
• Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.
• Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.
• Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.
• Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.
• Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).
• Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.
• Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.
• Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are lovable.

Check out the First 30 Days website to read the rest of Arielle’s article. BTW, Arielle is Debbie Ford's sister. Totally rockin' women!

When it comes to getting through change, never underestimate the power of patience. Faced with an uncomfortable change, our first instinct is to hurry up and get through it. We don’t want to feel the uncertainty, the fear, the sadness or any other negative emotions that might arise. But rushing through a change prevents the process from unfolding naturally.

Resist the urge to speed through a transition, searching for a fast fix. Be still, live in the change as it plays out and allow things to develop in the way they need to. Or, from a more spiritual perspective, allow the universe to do its work.

Expectations are what create pain and uncomfortableness. Drop what you expect to happen, how it should happen, and by when. Life is constantly rearranging itself, so today it's OK if you don't have all the pieces to your change puzzle.

Brought to you by The First 30 Days.

Live the WAIT,
Coach Carolyn