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“When everybody tells you that you are being idealistic or impractical, consider the possibility that everybody could be wrong about what is right for you.” ~ Gilbert Kaplan

This speaks directly to the fourth agreement: Always Do Your Best

I believe that we all strive to do the best that we know how to do and be the best that we can be. It would never serve you or anyone to wake up in the morning and say, “Now how can I absolutely screw up and be the worst me I can be!”

I may not know you personally, but I can guess you don’t say this. Especially if you are reading this blog, I can guess that you strive to be your bestest. Never settle for less than your best.

You are a child of the Divine – be that!

Coach Carolyn

Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ~ The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This is my favorite agreement… this week! I have begin the process of creating new online businesses and I said to myself that I will simply do the best that I can. We make agreements all the time – with others and with ourselves. More often than not, we do not honor the agreements we make to ourselves. We would feel mortified if we broke an agreement or an appointment with someone else. Yet, we feel it is okay to break agreements and appointments with ourselves. Are we not as important? We send the message that we are not.

Another agreement I made with myself is to be consistent with my spiritual practices and daily routines that will get me closer to my desires and intentions. If I am not consistent, then I will get what I have always gotten – nothing! I truly see and even feel the difference in being consistent. I have been consistent in doing those things that have created the habits I don’t want. Now it’s time to replace those non-serving habits with nutritious habits that will serve me and bring me closer to my intentions and dreams.

I love that Don Miguel states your best will change from moment to moment, because we all change and shift as well and our best must shift with us. But whatever shifts we are going through, always do your best.

Just for today, do your best!
Coach Carolyn

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The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

I used to joke that the only exercise I ever got was jumping to conclusions! And man, was I good at it!

When you don’t ask specific questions, then you have to assume your own answers and this, more often than not, leads to trouble. Why do we tend not to ask a simple question, yet would rather stew in our own misery of assumptions and bad guesses?

Just for today, don’t assume. You know what you get when you assume? Uh-huh!

STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK a question.

Coach Carolyn

Don't let fear keep you from asking simple questions that will make life easier. Join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program today!

In a recent class I am teaching, we were discussing our emotions and in particular, anger. One of the students mentioned that it is so hard not to get angry when someone says or does something to offend us. I quickly mentioned Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements. Surprising, many of them had never heard of the book. Although, this should come as no surprise, considering how people show up in the world – totally offended, feeling betrayed, being hurt, getting slighted in some way.

Now, I am not negating that these can all be very hurtful experiences, but you cannot allow that to rule your life.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Remember, nothing anyone else does is about you; it is a reflection of their own drama. If you choose to make it about you, then on some level you are agreeing with their assumptions. And yes, that is a choice. We live in a very narcissistic society where we think everything is about us. Well, it’s not! The only things that are about us, are the things we sign up for. So, if we sign up for someone else’s drama and negative behavior, then it becomes our drama and negativity.

I choose to write my own story and leave the drama on the cutting room floor! When I want drama, I am creative enough to come up with some drama that will serve me – like getting knocked to the ground by Richard Armitage! Hell, I have gotten knocked to the ground before, it wasn’t fun and I was sore for days after. I did laugh about it after. But had that been Richard Armitage, well! I can come up with a least a dozen different scenarios about how that would have ended up! He he!

So, just for today, stop taking everything so personally – even if it has your name on it!
Coach Carolyn

Afraid to let go of the drama? It can be less scary to live the drama than to walk away from it. If this is your story, then the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program is for you! Join today!

"Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed." ~ Lloyd Jones

"The only failure which lacks dignity is the failure to try." ~ Malcolm F. MacNeil

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." ~ David Brinkley

The fourth agreement: Always do your best!

Coach Carolyn

To do your best, you must first be your best! Join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program today.

If you want to check in with how you are living your agreements – STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“Am I using my words to heal or to harm?”

“Does what I’m about to say need to be said?”

“Is silence a better option right now?”

The fourth of the Four Agreements states: "Always do your best."

"Other people's opinions of you do not have to become your reality." ~ Les Brown

“Imagine living a whole new way of life – a life where you are free to be who you really are. You no longer rule your life according to what other people may think about you. Imagine living your life without judging yourself or anyone else, without the fear of being judged. You accept yourself just the way you are, and you accept everybody else just the way they are.” ~ From the back inside flap

After reading, studying and teaching The Four Agreements for the past few years, Don Miguel Ruiz and his son, Don Jose decided to share the Fifth Agreement with us. As an avid student of Don Miguel and the Toltec teaching, I was excited to dive into this new material. Thanks to my BWP sister, Lisa, for the gift of this book.

I have heard it said that we are messengers who have forgotten the message. We were sent here to deliver a message, to share something special, something unique. The message is us; and we have forgotten that message. We have forgotten who we really are.

The Fifth Agreement is be skeptical, but learn to listen. Since we have been conditioned, most of what we hear is not the truth. The truth is within each one of us, but we have forgotten what that truth is. We must learn to listen, but recognize that what we hear is only a piece of the truth, someone else’s truth; and may not be true for us at all.

In the Fifth Agreement, the Ruiz’ take us on a journey of the first four agreements as a refresher course. Then we are introduced to this next agreement. Don Miguel said that he tried teaching this agreement to his apprentices but they just were not ready to hear it, therefore unable to hear. Don Jose then took the message and presented it in a way that was ready for its hearers. It is definitely time for this message.

If we can just make the Five Agreements our way of life, then soon we will be living our personal dream of heaven.

As we begin a brand new year, time to make new agreements with yourself. I can think of no better agreements to start with than The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz.

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Think about what agreements you are making with yourself; and the agreements you make with those in your inner circle.

How many times did you take something personally today? How many times did you hear something and whether it did or not, you attached your name to it?

Well, forgive yourself, let it go, and move on. Stop taking things personally. Nothing is about you… except you.

Enough said.

"Once you become aware of what stands in your way and become willing to release it, you signal the universe that you are ready to manifest the life you were meant to live." ~ Chérie Carter-Scott

“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Are you really living life? Or are you operating in default? Are you living your life on autopilot?

Unfortunately, most of us will die with our music still within us. The cemetery is full of unlived dreams and untapped potential. We do not live out our dreams because we have more faith in our fears than in our dreams. We need to step out in faith and do it afraid. Don Miguel’s fourth agreement is “Always Do Your Best.” When you live out your dreams and passions, you will do what comes straight from your heart, and you will do it the best you can. When you live out your passions, you never have to think about whether or not you are doing your best – you just are.

Notice when you are doing something that lights you up, there is no fear present. There is just your passion and your authentic being. Simply do your best and your fears will take a hike!

Coach Carolyn

There is an oft quoted book title by Terry Cole-Whittaker called, What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. This is in keeping with the second agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz' The Four Agreements, Don’t Take Anything Personally.

I remember my seventh grade Math teacher, Miss Lowe, telling one of the more nosy students, “Excuse me! M.Y.O.B.!” Everyone in the class laughed. I found it a profound statement then, as I do today, some thirty plus years later. Today it isn’t politically correct to tell someone to mind their own business, though we think it enough. Yet, when someone says something offensive to you, instead of having to tell them to mind their business, how about remembering it is just that ~ their business. What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally can relieve you of lots of suffering because you can go through life not being offended by what other people say or think about you.

“Yes, but she hurt my feelings!” you counter.

And I counter back: No she didn’t. It is not her fault that something she says pushes one of your buttons. You have the button there to be pushed. Fix your buttons!

I once had a co-worker named Mara. I loved Mara. She was raw and straight to the point. She would say exactly what she thought, whether you asked or not. Then, guess what would happen? Yep, you guessed it. The person she directed her comment to would be offended. And I loved Mara’s comeback. You see, she would never come out and just apologize for her remark. She would say, “I am sorry that what I said hurt your feelings!” Mara understood that she could have said the exact same thing to another, and it would have absolutely no effect on them. But for some reason, it caused ranker in this person.

So, M.Y.O.B. Mind your own business and stop taking things so personally. You will find, life will get much sweeter!

"What you resist, persists..."

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate." ~ Albert Schweitzer

One way to use your word is with kindness. It costs nothing to be kind. It can cost you everything when you say something you will later regret.

Always remember the First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Life will be much sweeter.

~ Coach Carolyn

“Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

In The Success Principles, author and teacher Jack Canfield says: To speak with impeccability is to speak from your higher self. It means that you speak with intention and with integrity. It means that your words are in alignment with what you say and want to produce – your vision and your dreams.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

The second of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: