All About Women | Women

“Nothing needs to be fixed. Everything is unfolding perfectly. So when you stand in your now accepting that all is well, then from that vibration, you become surrounded by more and more evidence that all is well. But when you're convinced that things are broken, that there is pollution, or that things have gone wrong, or that the government is doing conspiracies... then what happens is you get caught up in that vibration, and you begin to manifest that kind of stuff, and then you say, ‘See, I told you that things were going wrong.’" ~ Abraham-Hicks

The first of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is “Be impeccable with your word.”

Your words have power and magic in them. Use your words with conscious deliberation. Don’t just speak to fill up the silence; we need the silence more than we need the speech. Most people cannot see this point. Our words must be used to heal, empower and inspire others. If what you are about to say to someone doesn’t lead to them being a better person, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK…

Is what I am about to say an improvement to silence right now?

"Drawing on my fine command of the language...I said nothing." ~ Robert Benchley

"Drawing on my fine command of the language... I said nothing." ~ Robert Benchley

Our Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup met last weekend. I want to say thank you ladies for coming out on a frigid afternoon, I appreciate you all.

We talked about spiritual practices ~ some tips on how to use them and some examples of specific ones. One very important tip is to just do it! It is not about being perfect, but being centered and at peace. This you will never accomplish if you just don’t start already! Never mind about how it looks or sounds to anyone else, this is your journey and your practice. It looks however you need it to look for it to work for you.

Another tip is to have no expectations. It is said that expectations are future rejections. When I expect someone to do something, and they do not; it is not the person that has let me down, but my expectation of them. Go into everything with an open heart and an open mind. This is critical for spiritual practices because when you have expectations, chances are something will come up that is not in line with what you expected. Then what? You give up because it didn’t go according to your plan. In the realm of the spirit, nothing goes according to your plan. This is an important lesson to keep handy. I can do the same practice two days in a row and each day presents something different. Why? Because I am different. I am feeling something different, I am experiencing something new and different, or I am just in a funky place at the time.

One of our newest members shared her spiritual practice of meditation. She remarked how centered and peaceful she feels once she has had her meditation time; and how empty she feels when she does not meditate. Another member shared that she creates vision boards and this is very calming for her.

There is no set practice ~ whatever you do to connect you with the divinity that is within you and outside of you is your practice. I shared my four main practices: prayer and contemplation; spiritual reading; silence and solitude; and journaling. I can definitely feel the effects when one or all of those practices go unchecked. For silence and solitude, I take myself on an Artist Date; just me, my journal and my pen. No friends, family or pets. No distractions, just time to be with yourself, to get to know yourself more.

If you are a newbie to spiritual practices, there are two sites that I have found to very useful: One is Beliefnet – whatever your belief system, this site will accommodate you. It offers prayers, meditations, news and views on all things of a spiritual and religious nature. The other site is Spirituality and Health, named for the magazine. Try one or both sites to jumpstart or spice up your spiritual practice.

I also shared a ritual I use for ending my day: every evening I do a self-inquiry of my day. I answer three questions:
*What have I learned today?
*What have I enjoyed today?
*What have I improved or contributed to today?

Then I list five things I am grateful for that day. Instead of going to sleep anxious and worried about the day or the next day, this sets the tone for restful and peaceful sleep. When you wake up, set an intention for your day.

What would you like the day to look like? Ex., a day full of peace-filled conversations with no drama!

How do you want to feel? I want to feel peaceful and grateful all day, not worried or stressed.

Also, if you have a petty tyrant, that special person whose job it is to constantly annoy you, set an intention that your petty tyrant won’t annoy you today. And if s/he does, it won’t bother you; you will remain in a state of peace and goodwill. It may sound hokey, but when done in the proper spirit, it does work and you will notice the difference. As a coach, teacher and speaker, I have many petty tyrants. Yet, I see them as my teachers ~ they are in my life to teach me something. Yet, I simply remain open and grateful for the lessons and the blessings that come. This is what consistently doing spiritual practices has taught me ~ to be more open and look for the light instead of expecting the darkness.

I would love to hear what spiritual practices work for you. Please share them with us.

In peace and gratitude,
Coach Carolyn

Hopefully you have had the chance to watch, listen to, or read the transcript of Class Two/Chapter Two of the A New Earth Webclass. In Chapter Two, Eckhart talks about the ego; but Oprah and Eckhart began the webclass with a moment of silence. Silence is something that many of us are not comfortable with. Just stopping and listening to our own breath – this can cause some people to go nuts! We must be wired and attached to something – mobile phones, blackberries, iPods (unless you are listening to A New Earth Podcast).

One of the things that the ego does not align with is silence; because as Eckhart says, it is taking attention away from the thinking mind which feeds the ego. I have said that stopping is a spiritual action – taking the time to just be.

Being aware of your surroundings is also difficult for some of us. How many times have I had to grab someone who was about to get run over by a car because she was so engrossed in her phone conversation or her blackberry messages?

So, if we cannot be still and silent or aware of our present moment, then how do we manage to have engaging relationships? Do we really know who we are relating to? Are we really aware of what we are eating during our lunch breaks? Or do we talk on the phone while shoveling food into our mouths? Especially here in New York, I see this all the time.

What would it be like if we just went out to a park and sat? No mobile or wireless devices, no distractions, just be? I do this at least once a week – my artist date. After having that time with myself, then I can think, analyze or create.

My challenge to you is to set aside some time in the next few days to just be. Go to a park or some other quiet place where you can have no distractions. Just notice your surroundings. Notice the sounds, the smells; take it all in and then let it go. Don’t label it, don’t judge it. Just be with it.

Share with us what the experience was like. Was it difficult to just be? Were you itching to react to the vibrating mobile device in your pocket? Could you turn it and everything else off for the time?

Stay in the moment,
Coach Carolyn

For those women who have attended any of my groups, know that I begin every session with Cheryl Richardson's Grace Cards. Grace cards are a deck of 50 beautifully illustrated cards with a simple self-care message on each. I use the cards at the start of all of my group sessions as a centering, a prayer, and an ice-breaker. It gets everyone to share and tell a little bit about themselves so that everyone in the room knows them too.

I have shared here and in my groups, that I am going through a transitional period right now. I am facing some definite unknowns and there is a level of fear. I will choose to do the next right thing, and do it afraid. I love the saying, "And this too shall pass." I know that intellectually, but it's still right now, and hasn't passed yet!

Every morning as part of my morning ritual, I pull 3 Grace Cards to see what the Divine has to say to me. Sometimes they are just reminders to stop and take a breath. I can forget this, especially in the throws of transition. The Grace Cards have a way of bringing me back to what is authentic. So, what cards "found" me this morning?

Silence: Be still.
Awaken: Keep your eyes open.
Peace: When we balance silence and activity, we discover true peace of mind -- the source of all joy and happiness.

Of course, I began to cry. So, what's the message?

And this too shall pass -- if you would just be still, staying aware and alert, true peace will come.

And so it is.

Coach Carolyn