All About Women | Women

“When you are unsure of yourself, remember that you can always borrow a self-confident attitude from your authentic self. If we act as if we’re confident, we become so.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

One of the stumbling blocks to being confident is fear. I have spoken quite a bit on this blog about fears and how they keep us from living a passionate and purposeful life. Fears block our confidence. Just imagine the things you would try if fear did not limit you.

A building block to living a confident life is gratitude, again an old friend of this blog. Living in an attitude of gratitude opens the door to abundance giving you the confidence to live a life free of negativity.

To be a confident woman, you must make the conscious choice to not attend every pity party, anger-fest, and offensive gathering that you are invited to. Just say, “Thank you for sharing; I choose not to receive that.” And move on. No need to give further explanation; which only leads to further confrontation.

We were given an awesome power – the power to choose. Yet, sometimes we do not exercise that power wisely. Stopping is a spiritual action. When we are in the midst of a major or even a not so major decision, stop, take a breath, and then choose. And remember, making no choice, is also a choice.

Make the choice to live an amazing and confident life.
Coach Carolyn

If fear is stopping and blocking your confidence, then it is time for you to decide to choose confidence over fear by joining the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program. Take back your confidence.

“As we ask questions and seek our purpose, we look for answers both inside and outside ourselves. We learn from others; our own experience; books, workshops, teachers, and mentors; and our painful mistakes. We receive many messages – some of them mixed – about what we’re supposed to be doing with our lives and what will make us feel as if we’re on the right path toward happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of meaning.” ~ From The Won Thing by Peggy McColl

Yes, I have done all of the above, only to discover that I really did not have to look very far for all the answers I was seeking. In my many years of working with women and men in helping them find their passion and purpose, I see so many nix the idea that the answers are already within. The question that baffled me for so long was why were we placed on this earth without a roadmap? Come to discover, we weren’t. We were given very special and very personalized roadmaps. We have just misplaced them!

We were all incarnated on this dear earth to deliver our own very special and very unique messages; but we seem to have forgotten the message. So, we wander around as messengers without the message. Instead of stopping, taking a breath, and asking ourselves some simple questions, we fret, worry, doubt, get anxious, become fearful and lose our way.

Think about this: butterflies, sunflowers, birds, you name it - never forget their message. They never forget what they have come here to do. Just stop and think about this. I double dare you!

As I always say – stopping is a spiritual action. Take some time to stop and remember the message you came here to deliver. Once you do, you will be amazed at how everything else in your life just falls into place.

Here’s to living your best life!
Coach Carolyn

Is not remembering your message causing more fear than faith? Check out the Transcending Fear Online Mentoring Program. It can help you to remember your message.

"What you resist, persists..."

I received this article from author, teacher and coach Debbie Ford on listening to your inner voice. Manifesting inner peace begins with stopping ~ a spiritual action, and listening. You cannot hear unless you stop and turn down the noise. Enjoy!

When we are stuck or in a state of uncertainty, it is difficult to move forward on our dreams and intentions. We are inclined to stay in that state of uncertainty instead of moving forward to a place of unknown. Yet, when we think about it, every move forward is a move into the unknown. We take the risk when we are certain that it will benefit us, or if it is a life and death situation; for example, staying in a passionless job because you are afraid of not being able to pay the bills. We resign ourselves to a life of drudgery instead of trusting the process and ourselves and taking a leap of faith.

Our last Becoming a Woman of Purpose Gathering was about those things that hold us back. The most common reason is fear. I believe fear is a catch all phrase for us not knowing and trusting ourselves and the process. If we can truly trust in ourselves, knowing who we are, it is less difficult to take that leap. I still ask the ladies, “Who are you?” and with the exception of my most diligent members (shout out to my girl Jennifer, woot!), no one can fully answer the question. Why is this? Because it is easier to stay stuck, not taking full responsibility for one’s life, than to make decisions that might get you what you want, or might get you evicted. I am by no means saying to make these decisions without proper planning. This planning is all part of the process called life. It pains me that so many women are not in touch with who they really are and what they truly want out of life. Oh yes, we know what we don’t want, but what do we want? Can we name it? Can we allow it once it shows up?

Stopping is a spiritual action

This can be a sticking point for some people, because stopping may seem like resigning or being lazy. This is far from the truth. There is stopping actions all throughout our lives, for a reason. We stop at red lights in order to allow someone else to move. Yet, when we are stopped at a red light, we tap our feet anxiously wanting the light to hurry up and change so we can move on. Move on to what? Just move! Stopping allows us to read the signs of the times, within our own lives and intentions. How can we know what we truly want if we do not take a moment to stop and ask ourselves? Then, if we keep moving like the hamster on the treadmill, and the thing we want shows up, will we stop long enough to allow and receive it? I say we do not and we miss the opportunity.

Once we take the time to stop, we ask ourselves what do we want and when do we want it? Do not worry about how we get it, that part is none of our business. Our part is to just show up in a state of allowing and receiving. We ask for what we want, then promptly negate the request. For example, we may want a new home. Yet, we say but I cannot afford it, the market is bad for buyers, how will I make the payments, on and on and on. Just state the intention, and then allow it to come. You cannot state an intention when you don’t know what the intention is. Stop and ask the questions. Some questions to consider:

Where am I in my life right now?
Where do I want to be right now?
What is the gap between the two?
What do I need to do to bridge that gap?

Also, remain in a state of gratitude. When we are grateful, we are not in a negative place. Remember, love and fear cannot co-exist. When we are in one state, we cannot be in the other. Which state are you choosing? And remember, it is your choice.

Live your life on purpose!

I have noticed in the past several months that when I ask someone, especially women, how they are doing ~ the answer I get is either very busy or stressed! No one is just plain “Very well, thank you” anymore. We have defined our lives by how much we can cram into a twenty-four hour period. It seems that if we are not extremely overbooked, over scheduled, or over extended then we are not living productive lives. But there is a vast difference between busyness and productivity.

If you are merely busy, then it is time to stop and ask yourself what you are so busy about. If your busyness is producing the outcomes needed to achieve your dreams and intentions, then you are on the right path. Even in the productivity, it is wise to take time to just be. Develop a daily practice of stopping, on purpose, for at least five minutes. We all have five minutes to just stop and breathe. If you cannot find five minutes, then you really need to rethink your priorities, for a five minute breath break must be a priority for us all.

In addition to scheduling in time for acknowledging the things you are grateful for, include those five minutes to stop and breathe ~ just notice your breath and be aware of what is around you. This gets you in the present moment for at least five minutes.