All About Women | Women

As we begin a brand new year, time to make new agreements with yourself. I can think of no better agreements to start with than The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz.

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Think about what agreements you are making with yourself; and the agreements you make with those in your inner circle.

"Most people say their main fault is a lack of discipline. On deeper thought, I believe this is not the case. The basic problem is that their priorities have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds." ~ Stephen Covey

One of the biggest reasons people do not follow through with their goals and dreams is a lack of purpose. There isn’t a big enough “why” you want to achieve that goal or dream. So, why do you want to achieve that goal? Is it because it is what someone else thinks you should do or have? Is it because you want to do or have what your peers do or have, so you won’t be left out of the group? Or, is it because you think you will finally be happy once you achieve it? Remember, happiness is an inside job. If you are not happy without it, I can guarantee you won’t be any happier with it.

Your dream is something that comes from deep inside of you. You have to fall madly in love with your dream. It has to be the thing you eat, sleep and breathe on a daily basis. If you talk to someone about your dream, will they be able to feel your passion and excitement? If not, then perhaps it is not your dream.

Take a moment to STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

*What is it that really lights me up?
*What am I willing to do to make that a reality in my life?
*What am I ready to let go of to make that a reality in my life?

I hope you purchased a brand new journal for this brand new year. Start writing! Post a comment here and let me know what your dreams are for this brand new year.

Here’s to your success!
Coach Carolyn

Welcome to 2009 and to your new beginning! We may not have had a great beginning, but the good news is that we can begin again. A new year is the perfect time to begin again. Remember as a child there were “do overs’? well, you can do over what you want. Leave those things that no longer serve you, or those people and things that are toxic to your spirit. Take whatever lessons and blessings they were put into your life to teach, then let them go. Easier said that done? Of course, everything is. But remember, this is your “one wild and precious life”, as the poet Mary Oliver wrote; and if you work it right, one life is all you need. You don’t get a do over in this arena. So create the life you want now.

One of the things that many struggle with every new year are those resolutions. New Year’s resolutions. Who thought that up, anyway? It might not be such a terrible idea, if they worked properly; or, were taught properly. First of all, I am one who redefines things that just don’t work for me. So, I do not make New Year’s resolutions, I create new intentions for the year. I also make it fun, not as if it were a chore or drudgery. This is not conducive to the manifestation of those intentions. I choose the feeling I want to feel for this year. Mine is peaceful. How and why a feeling?

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” ~ Benjamin Disreali

What are your intentions? What would be your resolutions, if you will? Okay, got it? Now, how would you feel if you accomplished those intentions? Elated? Joyous? Proud? Loved? Exhilarated? Play out that feeling. Feel it in all its passion and intensity. This is the feeling you want to stay with this year. When you begin from that feeling, your actions will follow. Do whatever you need to get and keep that feeling. You also want this feeling in all areas of your life, not merely your business, or just your finances, or just your spiritual life. You are one integrated being. You are not split into many different parts that will feel elated in your business, but miserable in your relationships. Bring that feeling into your whole life.

Set your intention around that feeling. In order to maintain your chosen feeling, you must think the thoughts that are in alignment with the feeling. Remember, happy thoughts, bring happy feelings; peaceful thoughts, bring peaceful feelings, and in turn happy and peaceful results in your life. This is where you must exercise your most powerful tool – your power to choose. You do not have to think every thought that pops into your head. Yes, you cannot help the thoughts that come in, but your can control the ones that stay and set up house. Which thoughts are you entertaining on a regular basis? Your mind is your most valuable piece of real estate; what are you allowing to take up residence there?

I am a self professed “re” person. I re-define my terms; I re-fresh my soul; I re-new my mind; I re-charge my body; I re-ignite my passion. It is my version of the “do over.” I dare say that most of us are “re” people. I find that I cannot settle for less than I deserve. Yes, there will be times when I have to be in the wilderness to re-charge and re-learn some things. But I don’t make it my permanent home. I take the lessons and the blessings, pick up my make-shift bed and move on. This has been one of the most difficult, yet most valuable lessons I have had to learn. When it is time to let things and people go, we must let them go. They only came to teach or be taught something of value. We don’t really lose people or things; we receive the blessing from them, then they must go. But we have gained.

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“You want to control your life? Control the only thing you can control: the meaning you give something.” ~ Anthony Robbins

One of the things to re-do in our lives is the way we make meaning of things. We are meaning-making machines to be sure, but how do we assign meaning? Remember the meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life. Yes, read that line again. The meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life, thus showing up as the results in your life. If I assign a certain meaning to money, for instance; my personal favorite is money and spirituality cannot mix or co-exist. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this one. So, of course, ministers, preachers and other spiritual-preneurs are supposed to be dirt poor. I grew up on this one; and although I didn’t originally assign the meaning to this one, I adopted it and made it my own. This was one I chose to keep and continue to assign the same un-serving meaning to it.

This year, I have re-assigned the meaning of money and spirituality: money is energy to use in the service of spiritual-preneurs to accomplish their divine purpose. Money is not this precious green stuff to be admired and hoarded only by the chosen few. I love the line from Hello, Dolly! where Dolly quotes her late husband Ephraim: “Money is like manure; it is to be spread around and used to make things grow!” This is one of the re-definitions I am adopting this new year.

So, for this new year, renew your mind, redefine your terms, and re-invent your assigned meanings; especially the ones that just aren’t working anymore. Re-examine what isn’t working for you and re-set your scales. You will find that it does bring new life into those damp and dark crevices without completely having to spend a fortune on an entire body overhaul. Feel your chosen feeling, make new meanings, re-ignite your passion and create your best life.

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” ~ Raymond Charles Barber

Habari Gani? NIA!

What’s the news? Purpose!

Today we celebrate the fifth day of Kwanzaa, that beautiful week-long festival honoring African heritage by giving thanks to our first fruits of the harvest. Today’s principle is my personal favorite: NIA or Purpose.

The day, NIA, speaks of making our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

This is my hope too for this community of passionate and purposeful women (and men); to build up this community by being an active part and by taking and exercising your power as purposeful creators. You have the power to think, to choose, to decide, and to act. How will you exercise your power? Or, have you given your power away?