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"Whenever you're facing any form of resistance, gratitude has the power to quickly dissolve it. This is true whether the hindrance comes from inside of you or outside of you." ~ Peggy McColl

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~ John F. Kennedy

When you are appreciating life, life appreciates. If you are not appreciating, then you and your life are depreciating. Become a divine appreciator; be grateful for everything.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

"Every morning is like a new reincarnation into this world. Let us take it then for what it is and live each moment anew." ~ Paul Brunton

Our Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup met last weekend. I want to say thank you ladies for coming out on a frigid afternoon, I appreciate you all.

We talked about spiritual practices ~ some tips on how to use them and some examples of specific ones. One very important tip is to just do it! It is not about being perfect, but being centered and at peace. This you will never accomplish if you just don’t start already! Never mind about how it looks or sounds to anyone else, this is your journey and your practice. It looks however you need it to look for it to work for you.

Another tip is to have no expectations. It is said that expectations are future rejections. When I expect someone to do something, and they do not; it is not the person that has let me down, but my expectation of them. Go into everything with an open heart and an open mind. This is critical for spiritual practices because when you have expectations, chances are something will come up that is not in line with what you expected. Then what? You give up because it didn’t go according to your plan. In the realm of the spirit, nothing goes according to your plan. This is an important lesson to keep handy. I can do the same practice two days in a row and each day presents something different. Why? Because I am different. I am feeling something different, I am experiencing something new and different, or I am just in a funky place at the time.

One of our newest members shared her spiritual practice of meditation. She remarked how centered and peaceful she feels once she has had her meditation time; and how empty she feels when she does not meditate. Another member shared that she creates vision boards and this is very calming for her.

There is no set practice ~ whatever you do to connect you with the divinity that is within you and outside of you is your practice. I shared my four main practices: prayer and contemplation; spiritual reading; silence and solitude; and journaling. I can definitely feel the effects when one or all of those practices go unchecked. For silence and solitude, I take myself on an Artist Date; just me, my journal and my pen. No friends, family or pets. No distractions, just time to be with yourself, to get to know yourself more.

If you are a newbie to spiritual practices, there are two sites that I have found to very useful: One is Beliefnet – whatever your belief system, this site will accommodate you. It offers prayers, meditations, news and views on all things of a spiritual and religious nature. The other site is Spirituality and Health, named for the magazine. Try one or both sites to jumpstart or spice up your spiritual practice.

I also shared a ritual I use for ending my day: every evening I do a self-inquiry of my day. I answer three questions:
*What have I learned today?
*What have I enjoyed today?
*What have I improved or contributed to today?

Then I list five things I am grateful for that day. Instead of going to sleep anxious and worried about the day or the next day, this sets the tone for restful and peaceful sleep. When you wake up, set an intention for your day.

What would you like the day to look like? Ex., a day full of peace-filled conversations with no drama!

How do you want to feel? I want to feel peaceful and grateful all day, not worried or stressed.

Also, if you have a petty tyrant, that special person whose job it is to constantly annoy you, set an intention that your petty tyrant won’t annoy you today. And if s/he does, it won’t bother you; you will remain in a state of peace and goodwill. It may sound hokey, but when done in the proper spirit, it does work and you will notice the difference. As a coach, teacher and speaker, I have many petty tyrants. Yet, I see them as my teachers ~ they are in my life to teach me something. Yet, I simply remain open and grateful for the lessons and the blessings that come. This is what consistently doing spiritual practices has taught me ~ to be more open and look for the light instead of expecting the darkness.

I would love to hear what spiritual practices work for you. Please share them with us.

In peace and gratitude,
Coach Carolyn

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." ~ Meister Eckhart

During this time of the year, being thankful is top of mind. We recall the sacrifices made for us to partake of the liberties we have come to enjoy and in some cases, take for granted. One of my spiritual practices is a gratitude list. Every evening I list five things I am grateful for that day. I just learned from one of my coaches yet another practice with the gratitude list. In the morning, list five things that you can be grateful for before they even happen. It helps set an intention for the day.

Out of my gratitude, I remember to say “thank you.” Two simple words yet so profound in meaning and impact. Think about what happens to the recipient of a “thank you,” a smile crosses their face, their manner is a bit lighter, and they are inclined to do more for you. A simple “thank you” begets more favor. You too are lifted when you bestow this simple yet effortless act of kindness and gratitude.

So, just for today, remember to say “thank you.” It may be all you need to say.

To my friends in the United States, I wish you a warm and blessed Happy Thanksgiving Day, and thank you for your continued love, encouragement and support. You are all warmly held in my heart.

Coach Carolyn

When we are stuck or in a state of uncertainty, it is difficult to move forward on our dreams and intentions. We are inclined to stay in that state of uncertainty instead of moving forward to a place of unknown. Yet, when we think about it, every move forward is a move into the unknown. We take the risk when we are certain that it will benefit us, or if it is a life and death situation; for example, staying in a passionless job because you are afraid of not being able to pay the bills. We resign ourselves to a life of drudgery instead of trusting the process and ourselves and taking a leap of faith.

Our last Becoming a Woman of Purpose Gathering was about those things that hold us back. The most common reason is fear. I believe fear is a catch all phrase for us not knowing and trusting ourselves and the process. If we can truly trust in ourselves, knowing who we are, it is less difficult to take that leap. I still ask the ladies, “Who are you?” and with the exception of my most diligent members (shout out to my girl Jennifer, woot!), no one can fully answer the question. Why is this? Because it is easier to stay stuck, not taking full responsibility for one’s life, than to make decisions that might get you what you want, or might get you evicted. I am by no means saying to make these decisions without proper planning. This planning is all part of the process called life. It pains me that so many women are not in touch with who they really are and what they truly want out of life. Oh yes, we know what we don’t want, but what do we want? Can we name it? Can we allow it once it shows up?

Stopping is a spiritual action

This can be a sticking point for some people, because stopping may seem like resigning or being lazy. This is far from the truth. There is stopping actions all throughout our lives, for a reason. We stop at red lights in order to allow someone else to move. Yet, when we are stopped at a red light, we tap our feet anxiously wanting the light to hurry up and change so we can move on. Move on to what? Just move! Stopping allows us to read the signs of the times, within our own lives and intentions. How can we know what we truly want if we do not take a moment to stop and ask ourselves? Then, if we keep moving like the hamster on the treadmill, and the thing we want shows up, will we stop long enough to allow and receive it? I say we do not and we miss the opportunity.

Once we take the time to stop, we ask ourselves what do we want and when do we want it? Do not worry about how we get it, that part is none of our business. Our part is to just show up in a state of allowing and receiving. We ask for what we want, then promptly negate the request. For example, we may want a new home. Yet, we say but I cannot afford it, the market is bad for buyers, how will I make the payments, on and on and on. Just state the intention, and then allow it to come. You cannot state an intention when you don’t know what the intention is. Stop and ask the questions. Some questions to consider:

Where am I in my life right now?
Where do I want to be right now?
What is the gap between the two?
What do I need to do to bridge that gap?

Also, remain in a state of gratitude. When we are grateful, we are not in a negative place. Remember, love and fear cannot co-exist. When we are in one state, we cannot be in the other. Which state are you choosing? And remember, it is your choice.

Live your life on purpose!

This past weekend, I conducted a new workshop called The Confident Woman. It was a blessed experience. The women were awesome and the sharing and caring was tremendous. We shared, prayed, laughed, cried, ate, and hugged in a sacred space that made us all feel like family.

One of the stumbling blocks to being confident was fear. I have spoken quite a bit on this blog about fears and how they keep us from living a passionate and purposeful life. Fears block our confidence. Just imagine the things you would try if fears were not limiting you.

A building block to living a confident life is gratitude, again an old friend of this blog. Living in an attitude of gratitude opens the door to abundance giving you the confidence to live a life free of negativity.

I am a firm believer in visuals. Visuals create a picture in the mind that mere words cannot top. One of my dear friends and workshop participants, Kathleen bought me a beautiful perfume bottle for my last birthday. I asked the women if they would love to have this bottle. They all said they would. I then explained that it is filled with poison (not the fragrance). Now would you like to have this bottle? Of course, this time all said no. Yet, I explained, when someone offends, demeans, or insults you, you take that and ingest it – like poison. Realization! Don’t you love it?

To be a confident woman, you must make the conscious choice to not attend every pity party, anger-fest, and offensive gathering that you are invited to. Just say, “Thank you for sharing; I choose not to receive that.” And move on. No need to give further explanation; which only leads to further confrontation.

We were given an awesome power – the power to choose. Yet, sometimes we do not exercise that power wisely. Stopping is a spiritual action. When we are in the midst of a major or even a not so major decision, stop, take a breath, and then choose. And remember, making no choice, is also a choice. Make the choice to live an amazing and confident life.

Live passionately with confidence!
Coach Carolyn

“Gratitude is indeed like a gearshift that can move our mental mechanism from obsession to peacefulness, from stuckness to creativity, from fear to love. The ability to relax and be mindfully present in the moment comes naturally when we are grateful.” ~ Joan Borysenko

“If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will then begin to see more.” ~ Oprah

One of the things that help me to live a life of purpose and passion is remembering; remembering the people, events, and situations in my life that make me a woman of purpose. The daily grind of life can zap us of our positive energy and make our immediate world look dark and gloomy. These are the times when the memories must kick in and lift us out of the spiritual abyss. When I remember to remember, I am filled with gratitude.

Being grateful keeps me in the present moment. When we get caught up in the muck and mire, we tend to step into a time that is not our own. In the present moment, we know that we can make a choice. Knowing that I still have the ability to make conscious choices gives me abundant hope. In making the choice to focus on what I have right now and not on what I should have, or should be, or should do, is a chance to celebrate my living on purpose. Living on purpose means living fully in the present moment; not staring at a past that we can do nothing about, or worrying about a future that is not promised to us.

Living in gratitude not only makes me smile – which releases happy, love endorphins, but it helps maintain a spirit of positive energy within and around you. Think of a time when you were in a state of absolute delight. What was your immediate world like? Delightful, right? Life can be delightful more than we believe because we do have the power within us to live in a perpetual state of gratitude.

How do you live gratefully?

Remember.

Remember what and who you have in your life and give thanks for them.

Live on purpose with gratitude,
Coach Carolyn

This month's Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup gathering focused on discovering our passions. The women were amazing, as usual. In addition to passion and purpose, we talked about negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, and staying focused on our goals. Nothing discourages passion faster than negativity and fears. As women, we have the tendency to beat ourselves up because we feel we are not doing or being something we think we should do and be. But I tell all women that when you beat yourself up, please use a feather.

One of the women, Sherri, shared a wonderful tip that I just had to pass on to all the Purposeful Divas. She said to create a "Self Care Menu." Like a regular menu in a restaurant, put items on that are about caring and pampering oneself. Because, as Nina shared, when we are in that yucky space, we cannot think clearly, so having this is on hand is a great way to take care of oneself. And Sherri says make it pretty, so be creative.

So what kind of items can go on your menu?

• A day at a spa
• A walk on the beach
• Reading a chapter of a favorite novel
• Taking a bubble bath
• Listening to favorite music
• A manicure/pedicure
• Seeing a movie -- alone or with a friend

The list is endless. And the list is yours. Place items in your menu that you are passionate about. When you create those passion moments, more moments will gravitate towards you. Like begets like. Passion begets more passion.

Also, one of my all time favorite things is a gratitude journal. Every evening, I write down three to five things that I am grateful for that day. I end my day on a positive note and I keep the negativity away. We tend to beat ourselves up at the end of the day about the things we should have done or should have said. Stop shoulding all over yourself!

Learn to practice random acts of self care. Create that menu and start that gratitude journal. Learn to take the time to listen to your inner child. What is she telling you? What is she asking you for? Would you deny her?

Taking time out to discover your passion creates a life of purpose and peace. And if you have lots of things that you are passionate about, do a little sifting. The wheat will separate from the chaff. Your true passion will remain when all others have faded away.

So I am off to create my menu. I am so excited about that! Thank you, Sherri for a fabulous creative tip. And thanks to all the women who shared their hearts, passions and light today.

It is not difficult to tell the people who are living a life of passion and purpose. They are the ones with the inner glow -- that aura of positive harmony and balance. When we are living a life of passion, we cannot help but exude that ray of positivity. Yet, the feelings are mutual. When we live in a state of positivity, passion follows.

I have the wonderful pleasure of communicating online with women in different parts of the world. The beauty of the Internet. I have stated before that my purpose in life is to equip, empower and encourage women to be amazing spirit women living lives of passion, prosperity and peace.

Hey Purposeful and Passionate People!

Our June Becoming a Woman of Purpose was awesome! We had some amazing sharing, insights, and revelations. It truly amazes me when I hear women say that they don't know what their purpose is. Or even, they cannot tell you what they are passionate about. This is not because we don't know. This is because we operate in a perpetual motion and doing, that we have not stopped to take the time to ask the questions. We don't take the time to just sit and be and find out whose life am I really living? Mine or someone else's?

One of the lessons at this gathering had to do with women who, because they have no children, does that mean they are not maternal or have that "maternal instinct"? It doesn't matter if a woman has given birth to one child, to several children, or to no children at all. We all have that innate knowing. During every woman's lifetime, she will have nurtured and cared for someone; be it a parent in old age, a family member, or a sick friend. That maternal instinct does kick in. This, like purpose, is part of a woman's DNA, if you will.

As I posted previously, we are operating out of our limiting belief system. To know that we are more than enough is difficult for some women to wrap their minds around. We are our own worse critics. One way to combat this is to cultivate the spirit of gratitude. When we are truly grateful, we only focus on our truths, not our fears or false beliefs. Being a woman of purpose means being grateful for all the joys of life. It also means being able to see the lessons learned in the sorrows, which also brings us to a place of gratefulness. And so it is.

Stay in a spirit of gratitude and your purpose will find you!

Coach Carolyn