All About Women | Women

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Whenever I teach, coach, counsel, consult, or speak, the subject of fear always seems to rear its overpowering head. Of course in the culture in which we now live – a culture of war, terrorism, lack of job security, diminishing health care, and the like, fear is a major player in our lives. Yet, one thing I have come to discover is that one cannot live the life they were destined to live if these fears are not dealt with.

Dealing with fears does not mean ignoring, denying or avoiding them; it does mean being able to walk through the fears and embrace them.

A fear is an unpleasant feeling of perceived risk or danger, real or not. It is one of the basic emotions. We were born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned. We all face fears, which is perfectly normal, unless they control our lives.

When we allow fear to take over, fear diminishes freedom of action. However, when we can learn to embrace the fear, then fear is a signal that there is something for me to learn.

One of the catch-all scenarios I hear is about fear of the unknown, which is absolutely unfounded. Fears are “perceived” dangers; risks that we know about and are aware of. If the risk or danger is unknown, then what is the basis of the fear? When one speaks of fear of the unknown, then the fear is usually about an outcome that is unknown to us; and that outcome has a name: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being mistreated, the list can go on.

In order to begin to face and embrace our fears, we must first name the fear. We need to call it what it is. Until we can name our fear, we will continue to deny or ignore it.

Live passionately and fearlessly,
Coach Carolyn