"You are the creator of your own reality."

"You were born with an innate knowledge that you do create your own reality. And, in fact, that knowledge is so basic within you that when someone attempts to thwart your own creation, you feel an immediate discord within yourself." ~ Abraham-Hicks

The words that you speaks and the thoughts that you think create the feelings that you feel. It is your dominant feelings that attract to you what you are experiencing.

You know when you are feeling those unsettling emotions, like fear, anger, frustration and rage. You also know that you are attracting more fear, anger, frustration and rage into your reality. 

Choose a new thought. Feel a different feeling.
Coach Carolyn


4:44 AM

How Are You Feeling?

Posted by Doncrack |

This week we looked at the thoughts that drive your emotions. You know, it is your own thoughts that drive your emotions, not the outside circumstances. Those outside events that happen, they do not cause you to feel a certain way; it is the way you interpret those events that cause you to feel what you feel. If you deem something as being very bad, you will feel bad about it. If you deem something as being unfair, then this will make you feel angry.

But what if… you do not attach any meaning to those outside events that happen in your world? Just, what if? Yes, we are meaning-making machines and we have to assign meaning to everything that happens in our external world. Yet, what if we simply chose not to? What if we said, “Oh, that thing happened; isn’t that interesting?” Then simply, let it go. Hard to fathom? I know.

Yet, this is the cause of all your suffering. You assign meaning to things that have  no meaning and have nothing to do with you. Even if it has your name all over it, it has nothing to do with you – unless you let it. You get fired? It’s not about you. You get dumped by the guy? It’s not about you. Stop making everything about you. I am sorry to tell you this but you are not the center of anyone’s universe except your own! Not everything is about you. Stop allowing it to be.

“As for worrying about what other people might think – forget it. They aren't concerned about you. They're too busy worrying about what you and other people think of them.” ~ Michael le Boeuf 

Make it a blessed weekend!
Coach Carolyn

4:39 AM

What’s Your Priority?

Posted by Doncrack |

What are you making a priority in your life? Is it depression? Is it happiness? Is it the job that makes you depressed? Is it the toxic friends you can’t seem to do without?

If you want to be happy, make being happy a priority. Oh, I don’t mean standing in front of the mirror every morning declaring yourself to be happy – it takes a bit more than that. If you really want to feel a different way, only you can make that happen.

STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK: “Why am I not happy?” “What will make me happy?” “What do I need to do to make that happen?” Then take one action step to make it so. If you do not make being happy, joyful, peaceful, and exuberant a priority, then it won’t be.

My priority is to be peaceful. I need and want peace in all areas of my life. To make that happen, I had to make the decision that I would create peace in all areas of my life. This was not easy. I had a job and I was miserable. I had to leave the job if I truly wanted peace. I lived with my family who were toxic, violent and unhealthy. I had to divorce myself from the family if I wanted peace. Now, most people will not make these kinds of sacrifices; but I wanted peace. I had to make peace a priority and so I had to make the sacrifices. Do not ask for something you are not willing to work to make happen.

If you are not willing to leave the job that makes you miserable, then shut up about it. It is your choice to stay in that job. If you are miserable in your job, chances are you are not where your heart has led you; therefore, you will never be happy in that job. Ask yourself why you stay in a job that does not light you up? Money! Right! I know that one....

Make YOU a priority, because no one else will!
Coach Carolyn

“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” ~ Don Wilder and Bill Rechin

One of my favorite axioms is excuses are exits. When you make an excuse, you literally exit yourself off the highway of happiness and success. Excuses are simply rational lies. They will get you nowhere very fast.

Excuses are another way to give away our power. We know we need or do something; yet we look at our external circumstances and based on what’s going on, we think about it in a negative light, then we come up with an excuse not to do it. And nine out of ten times it is because we don’t feeeeeel like doing it. Whine, whine, whine! Give me some cheese with that whine!

I can’t tell you how many excuses I have heard over the years – from students, potential clients, and wanna-be clients. Oh yes, everyone wants to work with you, but… then here comes the excuse. Your life will always remain as murky and dark while it is filled with excuses; because excuses only darken your path. There is nowhere to go after the excuses – the conversation is ended.

Now, if there is a legitimate reason… well, that’s different!

“The only person who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.” ~ Jules Renard

So, what's your excuse?
Coach Carolyn

As I stated in yesterday’s post, it is easy to point the finger at someone or something else when we are feeling bad. For many years, when I was feeling depressed or anxious, I would blame my mother, my sibling, the moon, you name it. Doing this, I did not have to take responsibility. But this also meant, I forfeited my power to the person or thing I deemed responsible. This meant that I also had no power to change the way I felt.

I rarely, if ever, owned my feelings, therefore, my behavior that resulted from those feelings. It was so-and-so who made me do it. Growing up in my house, the devil was the likely perpetrator to blame things on. It was convenient and bore all the responsibility. I was completely off the hook. Yet, I still felt bad, sad, mad, or glad. The devil couldn’t do anything about lifting my negative moods, or changing my behavior. And, the devil managed to not get the punishments – I received those.

Until you take full and complete responsibility for your own emotions and behaviors, you will always be the victim, powerless and not in control of your own life. As the great First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once so wisely stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So whether you think you are the victim of someone else’s bad behavior, you are still allowing it. Take back your power and you will find you can also control your emotions. 

No, the devil did not make you do it!
Coach Carolyn

This week, we will look at how your thoughts are driving your emotions. You may think that whatever is going on around you in your external world is what is causing you sadness, happiness, fear, loneliness, anxiety or anger. Wrong! What you are feeling has nothing to do with what is going on outside of you. What you are feeling is caused by what is going on inside of you. Surprised? I thought you might be. Because when we can point to come outside stimulus for our feelings, then we give ourselves permission to be victims and to blame someone or something else for our unsettling feelings and bad behavior.

It is easier to say, “She made me feel this way,” or “He made me feel that way,” than it is to say, “I am feeling this way because I choose to feel this way.” Say that one aloud and see how it fits. I dare say, quite an uncomfortable fit. As adults, no one has the power to make us feel or behave a certain way, unless we give away our power to someone outside of us. Digest that one for awhile and I will be back tomorrow….

Are you digesting?
Coach Carolyn

"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." ~ Albert Einstein

Napoleon Hills said, “Fear is faith in reverse gear. Fear is a negative belief in something, and belief is the very foundation of faith. Faith is a positive mental attitude in action. Your mental attitude is the sum total of your thoughts at any given time.”

When we were children, we had no problem activating our wonderful gift of imagination. We could imagine anything. I remember when my family would purchase a large household item, like a new television or a washing machine. I was enthralled with the big box that it came in. That box became my fort, my playhouse, my spaceship, my doll house, you name it. And I had no shortage of ideas for what to use that box for. Unfortunately, we were talked out of using that magnificent gift. We had to grow up, be realistic, and get our heads out of the clouds.

But I have some amazing news for you. You still have that gift – yes, it is still a part of you, and you have the ability to activate it anytime you choose. And you want to know something else? You do activate it, quite frequently. The difference is instead of imagining what you do want, you imagine what you do not want, and thus creating a reality that mirrors your imagination. Instead of focusing on your dreams and intentions, you give excessive amounts of attention to your fears and worries. And guess what shows up in your life? You bet! More of your fears and worries.

Just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“What am I giving most of my attention to right now?” Especially if you are not feeling well emotionally.

Remember, your thoughts precede your feelings; so if you are not feeling okay, then check in with what you are thinking about. You have the ability to choose a different thought; one that is more pleasant; thus making you feel better. Be proactive with your thoughts and your imagination. Use them to create the life you desire.

Here’s to dreaming in color!
Coach Carolyn


Got fear? Why not join the Transcending Fear Online Mentoring Program? Learn these and more principles and techniques to make fear your ally and not your enemy.

“There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you. The criterion is: Have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them -- so keep seeking! If what you do has brought you inner peace, stay with what you believe is right." ~ Peace Pilgrim

Your body and your feelings are never wrong. If your results are not what you desire, check your feelings. After checking your feelings, ask yourself what are you thinking? Because it is your thoughts that are driving your feelings. We tend to think it is some outside force that is making us feel the way we do. It is not something outside of you, but something within you that is causing you to feel the way you do.

Peace is an inside job. If you want to manifest peace within, you must not allow what goes on outside of you to infect you. Remember, it is none of your business what other people do to you or say about you. It’s not about you.

Coach Carolyn

As women of purpose, we must live into all of our feelings. After all, that is why we have them, to feel them, to live them, to journey with them. I like to intentionally create feelings to live into. So, when I need to have a good cry, I manifest a "moving moment." When I need a good laugh, I manifest that.

So, when I need a good cry, I watch the Everything Skit YouTube video. This may not resonate with everyone, but it sends me into a crying fit. And oh, how cathartic it feels! I love it! So I am sharing the video here. The song, Everything, is by a group called LifeHouse. Get the hankies and enjoy!

Welcome to 2009 and to your new beginning! We may not have had a great beginning, but the good news is that we can begin again. A new year is the perfect time to begin again. Remember as a child there were “do overs’? well, you can do over what you want. Leave those things that no longer serve you, or those people and things that are toxic to your spirit. Take whatever lessons and blessings they were put into your life to teach, then let them go. Easier said that done? Of course, everything is. But remember, this is your “one wild and precious life”, as the poet Mary Oliver wrote; and if you work it right, one life is all you need. You don’t get a do over in this arena. So create the life you want now.

One of the things that many struggle with every new year are those resolutions. New Year’s resolutions. Who thought that up, anyway? It might not be such a terrible idea, if they worked properly; or, were taught properly. First of all, I am one who redefines things that just don’t work for me. So, I do not make New Year’s resolutions, I create new intentions for the year. I also make it fun, not as if it were a chore or drudgery. This is not conducive to the manifestation of those intentions. I choose the feeling I want to feel for this year. Mine is peaceful. How and why a feeling?

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” ~ Benjamin Disreali

What are your intentions? What would be your resolutions, if you will? Okay, got it? Now, how would you feel if you accomplished those intentions? Elated? Joyous? Proud? Loved? Exhilarated? Play out that feeling. Feel it in all its passion and intensity. This is the feeling you want to stay with this year. When you begin from that feeling, your actions will follow. Do whatever you need to get and keep that feeling. You also want this feeling in all areas of your life, not merely your business, or just your finances, or just your spiritual life. You are one integrated being. You are not split into many different parts that will feel elated in your business, but miserable in your relationships. Bring that feeling into your whole life.

Set your intention around that feeling. In order to maintain your chosen feeling, you must think the thoughts that are in alignment with the feeling. Remember, happy thoughts, bring happy feelings; peaceful thoughts, bring peaceful feelings, and in turn happy and peaceful results in your life. This is where you must exercise your most powerful tool – your power to choose. You do not have to think every thought that pops into your head. Yes, you cannot help the thoughts that come in, but your can control the ones that stay and set up house. Which thoughts are you entertaining on a regular basis? Your mind is your most valuable piece of real estate; what are you allowing to take up residence there?

I am a self professed “re” person. I re-define my terms; I re-fresh my soul; I re-new my mind; I re-charge my body; I re-ignite my passion. It is my version of the “do over.” I dare say that most of us are “re” people. I find that I cannot settle for less than I deserve. Yes, there will be times when I have to be in the wilderness to re-charge and re-learn some things. But I don’t make it my permanent home. I take the lessons and the blessings, pick up my make-shift bed and move on. This has been one of the most difficult, yet most valuable lessons I have had to learn. When it is time to let things and people go, we must let them go. They only came to teach or be taught something of value. We don’t really lose people or things; we receive the blessing from them, then they must go. But we have gained.

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“You want to control your life? Control the only thing you can control: the meaning you give something.” ~ Anthony Robbins

One of the things to re-do in our lives is the way we make meaning of things. We are meaning-making machines to be sure, but how do we assign meaning? Remember the meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life. Yes, read that line again. The meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life, thus showing up as the results in your life. If I assign a certain meaning to money, for instance; my personal favorite is money and spirituality cannot mix or co-exist. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this one. So, of course, ministers, preachers and other spiritual-preneurs are supposed to be dirt poor. I grew up on this one; and although I didn’t originally assign the meaning to this one, I adopted it and made it my own. This was one I chose to keep and continue to assign the same un-serving meaning to it.

This year, I have re-assigned the meaning of money and spirituality: money is energy to use in the service of spiritual-preneurs to accomplish their divine purpose. Money is not this precious green stuff to be admired and hoarded only by the chosen few. I love the line from Hello, Dolly! where Dolly quotes her late husband Ephraim: “Money is like manure; it is to be spread around and used to make things grow!” This is one of the re-definitions I am adopting this new year.

So, for this new year, renew your mind, redefine your terms, and re-invent your assigned meanings; especially the ones that just aren’t working anymore. Re-examine what isn’t working for you and re-set your scales. You will find that it does bring new life into those damp and dark crevices without completely having to spend a fortune on an entire body overhaul. Feel your chosen feeling, make new meanings, re-ignite your passion and create your best life.

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” ~ Raymond Charles Barber


To a blessed and purposeful New Year!
~ Coach Carolyn

 
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