All About Women | Women: ask questions

4:09 AM

Ask Four Questions...Turn It Around

Posted by Doncrack | Labels: ask questions, Ask-Four-Questions-Turn-It-Around, Byron Katie, The Work

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Just for today, think about something or someone who is really irking your last nerve! Got it? Now do The Work on it. Ask the four questions and then turn it around…

Byron Katie says all the suffering that goes on inside our minds is not reality. It's just a story we torture ourselves with. She has a simple, completely replicable system for freeing ourselves of the thoughts that make us suffer. "All war begins on paper," she explains. You write down your stressful thoughts, and then ask yourself the following four questions:

Question 1: Is it true?

This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?

This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.

Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?

With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you've written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?

Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?

Turn the thought around:

The "turnaround" gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

Have an awesome, stress-free weekend!
Coach Carolyn

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10:30 AM

Don't Make Assumptions

Posted by Doncrack | Labels: ask questions, being authentic, Don Miguel Ruiz, making assumptions, The Four Agreements

Don Miguel Ruiz' Third Agreement is "Don't Make Assumptions."

Instead of making assumptions about things that happen in your life, why not ask questions?

If someone seems to slight you, reject you, or ignore you, don't immediately jump to the assumption that it has anything to do with you. The person could just be preoccupied with their own stuff. Instead, the next time you see them, state that you saw them but they did not acknowledge you...

"...Just checking to make sure everything is okay with you?"

Don't accuse, criticize, point fingers or judge ~ simply ask. It's about being true and authentic, yet we can do the truth in love.

"Jumping to conclusions must never be the only exercise you ever get!"

Coach Carolyn

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