"Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." ~ Les Brown
This past weekend about a dozen of our rockin' women of purpose came out to celebrate our third anniversary as a community of women on the journey. It was truly a magical experience. In spite of the fact that the city just got dumped with two feet of snow - give or take an inch or two in some spots - we gathered together to share stories, laugh together, encourage and empower one another and EAT! I was pleasantly surprised at all the delicious delicacies that were placed on our table.
One of the wonderful takeaways from the gathering was about not allowing other people's opinions to influence one's dreams. I thought this was stellar. We work so hard at setting up our boundaries, yet we forget that other people's opinions are one of the greatest boundary invaders. When we allow someone else's opinions to influence our thinking, we might as well turn over our lives to them and not live it. We are in fact living their life, their story, their dream and their drama - which has absolutely nothing to do with us. We have our own story, our own dreams and intentions, and our own opinions of what that all will look like.
When we allow our boundaries to get trampled upon in this way, fear is sure to creep in from around the corner. Why? Because we are not being and doing what is authentic to us. We are living someone else's story. And how scary is that?
Remember my post on Transcending Fear with I AM statements? Well, if you missed it, you can catch it again here. But check the term: I AM! This is about ME; and not about YOU! Keep affirming to yourself your I AM statements, because this reminds you of living in your own authentic story; stay out of other people's drama.
May the light go on with this one. And if it doesn't; check your bulb!
Coach Carolyn
Fear has all sorts of ways to keep you from living your best life. Don't let fear be your guiding force, join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program. You'll have lots of light bulb moments!
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Setting Boundaries to Reduce Fear
Life Lessons from Two Women of Purpose
The BWP Meetup Community had two, back-to-back, powerful gatherings with two awesome women of purpose and passion.On Friday the 13th, 13 of us journeyed in the rain to hear author and speaker Marianne Williamson share her thoughts on Spirit of a New World. Hosted by the New York Open Center, our group was invited by the Open Center to join in on this special evening. We even had VIP seating!
Two thoughts I took away from Ms. Marianne: We are in a world where we are constantly tempted to be who we are not. So, who do I need to become? Powerful! This is why I named this community, Becoming a Woman of Purpose. It’s not about finding your “life purpose.” Your life purpose is to love. It’s more about becoming the woman you were created to be in order to fulfill that call to love, in your own unique way. There is no other you at this time. You are it. So, it’s up to you to do you the best way you possibly can.
Marianne was so gracious; she even agreed to take a group photo with us. Yes, we were in the house! Visit Marianne’s website to learn about her happenings.
After a night of powerful messages, we were again rocked and inspired by Anne Goodwin, author of the award-winning book, “Stay For Lunch.” Again, gracious, lovely, as well as truly inspiring. Another rainy evening, 15 women came to learn, share and be inspired by Anne. She shared her Life Lessons learned from her friendship with Francina, a woman fifty years her senior, whom she met when she happened upon her during an auto accident.
The lesson that was most powerful for me was “Say YES and participate in life fully.” This most resonated because I said YES to these two events that came from two strangers via email. I said YES, participated fully, and magic happened. Anne then signed copies of her book, gave gifts of her Angel Cards and donated a portion of her book sales to the Elizabeth Seton Women’s Center. How cool was that? What an inspiration and angel she is!To purchase Anne’s book, visit her at Pleasurable Pause Press.
In a nutshell, that’s our two magical evenings with women of purpose and passion. What a gift!
I want to give a special shout out to six of our BWP women who came to both events, braving the winds and rains on both evenings. They are symbols of grace, love, and unending spirit and commitment to their journeys. Thank you, Cindy, Clo, Emily, Irma, Lisa, and Sue. You ladies do me so very proud. I love you to pieces!
Oh, Mother! Your Authentic Self
This past weekend we had another awesome BWP Meetup where 18 women came out on a rainy day to play, learn, and gain new awarenesses. From our topic of Live Your Best Life NOW, the issue of toxic or negative mothers came up. Well, go figure!
I just want to say a few words about this. One of the reasons we as adults are not getting on with Mother is because we are not comfortable with ourselves. If we don’t know who we are, we cannot live into that truth, hence, we have to defend ourselves against what everyone else expects of us, especially our mothers. Remember, of all our relationships, our mothers had the highest expectations of us, whether expressed or not. And when we hem and haw, go back and forth, it seems frustrating to mother, and mother will tell us so.
Go to your secret place and figure out what you truly want to be, do, and have. Stop planning to do it and just do it! Once you get real about what you want to be, do, and have, you will show up more authentic and people will resonate with your authentic self instead of your false self. You teach people how to treat you. If people are beating up on you, abusing you in someway, or treating you badly, then you have allowed this to happen and in essence, gave your consent to this type of behavior. STOP! TAKE A BREATH! and ASK…
“What is my part in this mistreatment from… mother, sibling, boss, co-worker, etc?”
And yes, you do have a part in this. If you are being mistreated on one area or with one specific relationship, then chances are there is more mistreatment in some other area of your life. Find the pattern and break the cycle. Treat yourself like a queen first. No one else will until you do first. No, I am not talking about lording it over people and acting like you are better than…. I am talking about knowing not just who you are, but whose you are. You are a daughter of the Infinite Goodness, the Divine Creator. Stop acting like the secondary character in your own life story. You are the leading lady. Show up, step up and step into your role.
When you can do this, you will be amazed that everyone in your life, including Mother, will fall into alignment with how you are being. BE who you were created to be and not some bad copy of someone else.
Here’s to living your authentic life!
Coach Carolyn
