All About Women | Women

"A very good career choice would be to gravitate toward those activities and to embrace those desires that harmonize with your core intentions, which are freedom and growth — and joy. Make a "career" of living a happy life rather than trying to find work that will produce enough income that you can do things with your money that will then make you happy. When feeling happy is of paramount importance to you — and what you do "for a living" makes you happy — you have found the best of all combinations." ~ Abraham-Hicks

When you live out of your deepest desires and passions, there is no more work! You are doing what you were created to do.

"When we have passion for life, we shine. There is an ease and effortless quality to us. We are magnets. We have an ability to inspire the people around us and gain support for our ideas. We now are able to see the difference between passion and drama and choose passion at every turn. We are free to express ourselves with the self-assuredness that we are lead by a force that is driven from within rather than our ego. We understand the power of purpose and relish the opportunities to meet life head-on. We invite risk as a vehicle for growth and expansion." ~Rhonda Britten

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“Are you standing in your own power? If not, what is stopping you?”

"Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable and fall asleep and miss your life." ~ Brian Andreas

My coach sent out this blog post of a Thai Pantene commercial. Now, I am a huge YouTube watcher ~ everything from costume dramas to comedies to music videos to skits. This one had me in tears. I am also passionate about having a dream and believing in that dream until you soar with that dream. Then it is no longer a dream, but your reality.



Dream BIG, on purpose!
Coach Carolyn

"Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times." ~ Steve Brunkhorst

High on Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs' chart is the esteem needs ~ the need to be respected, recognized, and appreciated. We all have these needs. These needs are basic to living a life of purpose and passion. Yet remember, we ALL have these needs. Neglecting the needs of others to have your own needs met and satisfied does not make for purposeful living. We are all spiritual beings having this human experience combined with hopes, dreams, fears and sorrows. Treat people as people, and they will repay you in the same way.

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Carl W. Beuchner

Coach Carolyn

Welcome to 2009 and to your new beginning! We may not have had a great beginning, but the good news is that we can begin again. A new year is the perfect time to begin again. Remember as a child there were “do overs’? well, you can do over what you want. Leave those things that no longer serve you, or those people and things that are toxic to your spirit. Take whatever lessons and blessings they were put into your life to teach, then let them go. Easier said that done? Of course, everything is. But remember, this is your “one wild and precious life”, as the poet Mary Oliver wrote; and if you work it right, one life is all you need. You don’t get a do over in this arena. So create the life you want now.

One of the things that many struggle with every new year are those resolutions. New Year’s resolutions. Who thought that up, anyway? It might not be such a terrible idea, if they worked properly; or, were taught properly. First of all, I am one who redefines things that just don’t work for me. So, I do not make New Year’s resolutions, I create new intentions for the year. I also make it fun, not as if it were a chore or drudgery. This is not conducive to the manifestation of those intentions. I choose the feeling I want to feel for this year. Mine is peaceful. How and why a feeling?

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” ~ Benjamin Disreali

What are your intentions? What would be your resolutions, if you will? Okay, got it? Now, how would you feel if you accomplished those intentions? Elated? Joyous? Proud? Loved? Exhilarated? Play out that feeling. Feel it in all its passion and intensity. This is the feeling you want to stay with this year. When you begin from that feeling, your actions will follow. Do whatever you need to get and keep that feeling. You also want this feeling in all areas of your life, not merely your business, or just your finances, or just your spiritual life. You are one integrated being. You are not split into many different parts that will feel elated in your business, but miserable in your relationships. Bring that feeling into your whole life.

Set your intention around that feeling. In order to maintain your chosen feeling, you must think the thoughts that are in alignment with the feeling. Remember, happy thoughts, bring happy feelings; peaceful thoughts, bring peaceful feelings, and in turn happy and peaceful results in your life. This is where you must exercise your most powerful tool – your power to choose. You do not have to think every thought that pops into your head. Yes, you cannot help the thoughts that come in, but your can control the ones that stay and set up house. Which thoughts are you entertaining on a regular basis? Your mind is your most valuable piece of real estate; what are you allowing to take up residence there?

I am a self professed “re” person. I re-define my terms; I re-fresh my soul; I re-new my mind; I re-charge my body; I re-ignite my passion. It is my version of the “do over.” I dare say that most of us are “re” people. I find that I cannot settle for less than I deserve. Yes, there will be times when I have to be in the wilderness to re-charge and re-learn some things. But I don’t make it my permanent home. I take the lessons and the blessings, pick up my make-shift bed and move on. This has been one of the most difficult, yet most valuable lessons I have had to learn. When it is time to let things and people go, we must let them go. They only came to teach or be taught something of value. We don’t really lose people or things; we receive the blessing from them, then they must go. But we have gained.

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“You want to control your life? Control the only thing you can control: the meaning you give something.” ~ Anthony Robbins

One of the things to re-do in our lives is the way we make meaning of things. We are meaning-making machines to be sure, but how do we assign meaning? Remember the meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life. Yes, read that line again. The meaning you assign a situation is what will give it life, thus showing up as the results in your life. If I assign a certain meaning to money, for instance; my personal favorite is money and spirituality cannot mix or co-exist. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this one. So, of course, ministers, preachers and other spiritual-preneurs are supposed to be dirt poor. I grew up on this one; and although I didn’t originally assign the meaning to this one, I adopted it and made it my own. This was one I chose to keep and continue to assign the same un-serving meaning to it.

This year, I have re-assigned the meaning of money and spirituality: money is energy to use in the service of spiritual-preneurs to accomplish their divine purpose. Money is not this precious green stuff to be admired and hoarded only by the chosen few. I love the line from Hello, Dolly! where Dolly quotes her late husband Ephraim: “Money is like manure; it is to be spread around and used to make things grow!” This is one of the re-definitions I am adopting this new year.

So, for this new year, renew your mind, redefine your terms, and re-invent your assigned meanings; especially the ones that just aren’t working anymore. Re-examine what isn’t working for you and re-set your scales. You will find that it does bring new life into those damp and dark crevices without completely having to spend a fortune on an entire body overhaul. Feel your chosen feeling, make new meanings, re-ignite your passion and create your best life.

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” ~ Raymond Charles Barber

“If you dedicate yourself to service, the doors will open.” ~ Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

Today’s society seems to be so focused on the “what’s in it for me?” attitude. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was, if you want to make yourself happy, go and make someone else happy. In the end, you will be happy too.

Living a life of passion and purpose means giving yourself in service, filling a need when you come across one; and there are no shortages of needs to be met. Offer a smile, a word of encouragement, a genuine compliment, or go the extra mile. Offer to shop for someone who cannot get around as much, especially if you are going already. It is in the little things that great things can happen.

To love is to serve,
Coach Carolyn

"I imagine that the present is as it should be. It is perfectly unfolding even if I don't understand why." ~ Evelyn Rodriguez

I constantly speak about living a life of purpose and passion. We are the authors of our lives and can create what a passionate and purposeful life looks like for us. This includes living in some of the inconveniences that may become quite purposeful. I will share a story.

Last week, I was on the bus and in the seat next to me was a planner that someone obviously left behind. Well, being a person of purpose, I know how extremely important our planners are to us. I took the planner and put it in my backpack. When I arrived at my destination, I checked the planner and found the email of the owner. There was also a phone number; but I thought emailing was less intrusive. The owner emailed me in return and followed up with a phone call. She looked me up! We spoke and arranged a meeting.

I was greeted with one of the loveliest and warmest of women. Elaine and I chatted for about fifteen minutes and we shared some of our mutual interests. Turns out we are both on a spiritual journey.

Now, this could have been a tremendous inconvenience. Yet, I am a lover of anyone who fully utilizes a planner; so I merely saw this as an opportunity. I instinctively knew that the owner of the planner was a woman of purpose and passion. In our conversation, this was verified. Elaine even rewarded me with chocolates! Now, that’s living with passion!

The next time you find a planner, remember, it could be an opportunity to meet another traveler on the spiritual journey to a life of passion and purpose. Take advantage of the opportunity.

Live in the moment; live passionately!
Coach Carolyn

One of the classes I have begun teaching is called A Spirituality of Purpose. It is a mix of men and women and a very interesting mix, I must say. In listening to the introductions and why people are taking the course, I always find some common threads. When the discussions begin, I find that people want to find their purpose, they want to live a life of passion, but they just don’t want to work at making that possible. If passion and purpose could just fall into their laps, without them having to do too much, then they would be satisfied.

I find that folks want a neat little packaged answer with a carefully mapped out blueprint detailing exactly how to live and what to do. Well, I’m here to pop that little fantasy balloon and tell you that it just does not work that way. Most of the fun of living a life of purpose is in the discoveries that we continue to make. I wouldn’t like it if my life was handed to me on some platinum platter with all the answers to all the questions. Yet, this is exactly how some people live their lives. Their parents, their family members, their peers, their community, or society has imposed their life purpose on to them; and now they are following a script that was written by and for someone else.

The only person that can plan your life is you. Someone else can help finance it, but even then, there may be restrictions. Get in touch with your own authenticity – you have an authentic self, you know. When are you going to start finding out who that self is and start making her happy? Living a life of passion and purpose means living from center, your center, and honoring what is in your core. As women, we tend to take care of everyone around us, which is not a bad thing unless it is at the expense of taking care of ourselves. I always say that we cannot give away what we ourselves do not have. If our love tank is empty, how on earth do we expect to fill someone else’s?

Last week, I signed up for a women’s workshop called “Spark Your Fire.” I wanted to be at a workshop where I was being taken care of and not facilitating for a change. I went with no expectations, only wanting to connect with self and other women. Boy, did I connect with self! After the deep breathing exercises, which left me feeling as if I was melting into the floor, I felt the traumatized Carolyn and knew I needed to pamper her. Again, I am so about taking care of other women, that it is too easy to neglect my own self care. But I was so held and honored that evening; it was all about pampering me. I shared my feelings with one of the facilitators at the end, and she was so supportive and caring, hugging me and reminding me to honor my feelings.

All this to simply say, I honored myself and filled my love tank. To do the work I do with women, I must have a full tank, or I absolutely could not hold anyone sacredly or safely. I would be too toxic. And worse, I wouldn’t have the presence to shield other’s toxins. Pretty scary!

One way to live a life of passion and purpose is to choose to want to live a life of passion and purpose. If you want to and hold that intention, then it will begin to show up for you. If you do not, then you will get a whole lot of what you do not want. First begin by choosing to live a life of purpose. If you want to change your life, then you have to work at it. The Law of Attraction includes the Law of Action. Make the conscious intention, then take the necessary steps to create the space for it to start showing up for you.

During one of my Artist Dates, I had a lovely epiphany. I want to live more in love than in fear. Brilliant, huh? Well, yeah okay, what I mean is… I want to operate my entire life, including my coaching practice, in the love realm. The more speaking engagements I do, the more workshops I conduct, the more students I teach, the more clients I coach, the same issue always comes up: what blocks your living a life of passion and purpose? FEAR.

In my leadership coaching, I teach leaders how to love those they lead. However, this should not be confined to just those in traditional leadership positions, but to anyone who is in the position to influence someone. Guess what? That’s everyone, including you! When we can focus on loving, I believe there will be no room to focus on what we fear. And as I mentioned before, fears will always be a part of our stories, but they should not be to paralyze us, but to bring us to a new awareness. Fear means that something exciting is about to happen.

So are you wondering how do I teach people how to love? So glad you asked! Four simple words: Love as a verb! We need to wrap our brains around loving as something we make a conscious choice to do. Love is not about how we feel; we need to act our way into the feeling. When we behave lovingly, the feelings will come. Saint Thomas Aquinas, one of the Church Fathers, said: “Love is the effective willing of the good of the other.” Fancy, yes? Simply put, we choose to behave toward the other for their good. We want only the best for the other, acknowledging the other as other.

We can sometimes get in the habit of lumping groups of people together and classifying or labeling them; those people, that group. Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once wrote, "When you label me, you negate me." (I love the Kierkster, as I affectionately call him) We must see each person as an individually-made expression of the Divine. This is part of our purpose, to recognize that we are uniquely made expressions of the Divine and live that to the fullest. When we live this, fear has no hold on us; we only operate in love.

Lovely epiphany? I think so. I look forward to your epiphanies and your comments on my epiphany. Take yourself on an Artist Date and dream. You never know what the Universe has in store for you.

I posted the topic of forgiveness on my leadership blog, Equip and Empower after giving a talk on leadership to a class of seminarians. The topic was a lively one and very provocative. I love purposeful, provocative conversations -- they are so filled with passion!

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” ~ Winston Churchill

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ~ H.D. Thoreau

May your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility. ~ Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey

Live passionately,
Coach Carolyn

“Everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room, every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.” - Indian Proverb

When we consistently visit each of our rooms on a daily basis, then we can truly access our passion. Whatever we are passionate about, must affect each of the four rooms. Passion touches each of these four rooms: it touches the physical by keep our breathing and our heart rates at a steady pace, keeping us from stepping into di-stress territory. It touches the mental by stimulating our minds, creating new ideas and adventures. It touches the emotional, especially when we share a special memory. And it touches the spiritual because we feel so connected with the Divine.

When you are truly passionate about something, time stands still. Passion isn’t just about being momentarily excited about a person or thing. Passion is still going on even when the event or person is long gone. The memories create passion, which stimulates new ideas. You cannot turn passion on and off life a faucet. Passion is like love. It continues long after the music has stopped playing because you can keep the music playing for yourself.

I am passionate about creating empowerment tools to equip women. These tools come in the form of lectures, workshops, coaching practices, and writings, just to name a few. But once my brain gets turned on, it is very difficult to go on automatic shut down. Passion has a great ripple effect. One thing reminds me of another thing, which reminds me of yet another. Soon, I have more programs and projects that one person could ever tackle. But this comes out of a space of pure passion.

We each must have a passion to create something great for the whole. We were not placed on this planet to live in a vacuum, or to live solely for self. We were placed here for a Divine assignment. That assignment definitely entails another human being. Perhaps we don’t know who that person or persons are, but when our paths cross, the magic happens. In order to make magic, we need to stop dismissing and doubting the ordinariness of each moment. Each moment is a gift, and wonderful things can come inside small packages. The key is to open your package when it is handed to you because a miracle may be waiting inside.

Fully living the ordinary moments makes them extraordinary,
Coach Carolyn

This month's Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup gathering focused on discovering our passions. The women were amazing, as usual. In addition to passion and purpose, we talked about negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, and staying focused on our goals. Nothing discourages passion faster than negativity and fears. As women, we have the tendency to beat ourselves up because we feel we are not doing or being something we think we should do and be. But I tell all women that when you beat yourself up, please use a feather.

One of the women, Sherri, shared a wonderful tip that I just had to pass on to all the Purposeful Divas. She said to create a "Self Care Menu." Like a regular menu in a restaurant, put items on that are about caring and pampering oneself. Because, as Nina shared, when we are in that yucky space, we cannot think clearly, so having this is on hand is a great way to take care of oneself. And Sherri says make it pretty, so be creative.

So what kind of items can go on your menu?

• A day at a spa
• A walk on the beach
• Reading a chapter of a favorite novel
• Taking a bubble bath
• Listening to favorite music
• A manicure/pedicure
• Seeing a movie -- alone or with a friend

The list is endless. And the list is yours. Place items in your menu that you are passionate about. When you create those passion moments, more moments will gravitate towards you. Like begets like. Passion begets more passion.

Also, one of my all time favorite things is a gratitude journal. Every evening, I write down three to five things that I am grateful for that day. I end my day on a positive note and I keep the negativity away. We tend to beat ourselves up at the end of the day about the things we should have done or should have said. Stop shoulding all over yourself!

Learn to practice random acts of self care. Create that menu and start that gratitude journal. Learn to take the time to listen to your inner child. What is she telling you? What is she asking you for? Would you deny her?

Taking time out to discover your passion creates a life of purpose and peace. And if you have lots of things that you are passionate about, do a little sifting. The wheat will separate from the chaff. Your true passion will remain when all others have faded away.

So I am off to create my menu. I am so excited about that! Thank you, Sherri for a fabulous creative tip. And thanks to all the women who shared their hearts, passions and light today.

My passion and purpose is to guide and create passion and purpose for others, especially women. To often, women are the ones to undervalue themselves. Well, I just won't stand for it anymore! Women are the goddesses on this planet, heiresses to the throne of the Divine, and we must behave like it.

When I find other women on this same journey, it really excites me. I read several blogs daily for my own spiritual enrichment and connection. I found this post to be a wonderful expression of Divine purpose and wanted to share it with you. It comes from Susan Hanshaw of Sanctuary for Change. Susan's mission is to support others on the transitional journey she walked herself. A certified spiritual counselor and coach, Susan works with individuals seeking to experience a life with greater abundance, joy, and sense of purpose. She is the author of Unleashing Your Soul: Finding the Courage to Follow Your Heart.

"I have talked a lot here about my belief that life has purpose. Yet where does that purpose come from and where does it begin? Consider first that we were all created from a divine energy that many of us call God. That means that we each began as a spark from the divine. If you can see yourself as a divine spark, you then accept the invitation to see that there is something that God wants to do through you. This is your divine purpose."

Susan has a beautiful way that she languages life and purpose. To truly be women of purpose, immerse yourself in the light and wisdom of other women of passion and purpose, like Susan. This is what I call a nutritious connection! So, bathe in it!

Life passionately, on purpose!
Coach Carolyn

“The search for the purpose of life is one of the deepest of our experiences as human beings…. Deep in our hearts, we all want to find and fulfill a purpose bigger than ourselves. For each of us the real purpose is personal and passionate: to know what we are to do and why.” -- Os Guinness

Do you know what you put on this earth to do? Do you thrive in your daily life, or merely survive? If you are like most women, you probably believe you are here to fulfill one or several roles – daughter, wife, mother, aunt, sister. Or, to seek your fulfillment in a job or career – lawyer, doctor, therapist, teacher.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the roles mentioned. If they are how you are to live out your life purpose, then that is wonderful. But if they are simply a means to an end, just to pay the bills, with no real joy or passion, then something is very wrong. Living your life purpose should make you want to sing all day. Answer these brief questions about how you contribute to this global society:

* Is there a need – does it serve a greater purpose?
* Do I have the necessary skills, gifts and talents?
* Does it bring me joy?

Did you answer yes without any hesitation? If you did, congratulations on living out your divine purpose. If you answered no, then girlfriend, we need to talk!

Until next time, live with passion!

Coach Carolyn

What if you won a $10 million lottery, what would you do?

At a networking event I was asked this question. Without missing a beat I said I would be doing the same thing I am doing now. He was quite impressed. He said that I was living my passion and purpose. Yes! Okay, I am warm.

So, what would you do? The same thing you are doing now. Or, would you do what you really wanted to do, because you wouldn't care about earning a living?

You can earn a living doing what you are passionate about.

Something to think about...

In peace,
Coach Carolyn